Per Lindsay

You Are 29% Selfish

In general, you are a very giving person who treats others very well. But at times, you insist on getting your way - when it matters most to you.

How Selfish Are You?

I was honest :)

I'm such an asshole!

Today I was the definition of an asshole!

My three year old son had a program at school called Daddy Desert Night. The wife thought it would be a good idea if I went. I really didn't want to for several reasons all of which were bullshit.

So how did I handle this situation? I acted like a big damn baby. I made sure she knew how miserable I was going to be. How pointless it was to go and how I didn't need to be preached to on how to be a good father. Of course you wouldn't know it by the way I acted. The wife even offered to go in my place which made me feel more like the jerk I was being.

Anyway, I went, I had a good time and my son seemed happy that I was there. The whole thing took all of forty five minutes. I'm such an asshole.

How Blogger Could Have Killed Me (an over dramatic tale and yes, another gym story)

One of my New Years goals was to get back in the gym and get back to the level I was at a few years ago. I've been doing pretty good and Finally got up the guts to try a lift I haven't done in about two years.


Let me set the scene:


I'm ready to do my lift. I have my mp3 player on so it's blaring in my ear "I've never had to knock on wood... " It takes me a minute to wrap my old knees. I'm ready "Have you ever had the odds stacked up so high... " I step into the rack and climb up under the bar, it rest across my shoulders. " has it ever come down to do or die... " I straighten up and step back. The weight feels like it is going to push me through the floor. I start to lower into a sitting position, nothing exists except the pull of gravity and the thought of pushing up. I do it, then again.


When I straighten up the second time all my senses flood back to me. I catch a glimpse of my partner in the mirror, he's not watching me. I can feel the pain in my legs and I realize my mp3 player isn't playing anymore. Maybe I pulled the wire loose, or hit a button, I don't care. I decide to push it and go for a third rep, I bend my knees to go down, my mp3 player makes a noise. A song is starting. I'm as far down as I want to go but I've lost my concentration. For some reason I'm trying to figure out what song is coming on. I can't place the music. I'm in trouble, the weight is not going up. I can't feel my partner behind me, no help is coming. Falling is becoming a real option. I push with all I have left, slowly I change direction and start to beak gravity's grip. I straighten up and rack the weight.


I bend over to catch my breath, hands on my knees. I'm seeing stars and I feel like my nose may start bleeding. My partners are congratulating me on a good set. For a split second I hate them. I hear the music again. I look at my mp3 player on my arm to see what song is playing. Yep, Journey "Sweet and Simple" from my 'smiling' blog post. I lean against the rack and slide to the floor, and start laughing. My gym partners think I'm crazy, again. I'm loving life, the unexpected, the thrill of it all. Of course I'm still not loving Journey, no not at all.

a tiny rant

Can someone please tell me what the deal is with TV show CSI Miami . Not the show but the character Horatio to be specific. This guy is suppose to be a Crime Scene Investigator and he shoots his weapon more than John Wayne. He's the only one on the show that can figure anything out. He suppose to be intimidating, he threatens all the tough bad guys. All the girls on the show fall in love with him. huh?


Is this suppose to be believable? First, I doubt crime scene investigators ever shoot their weapons. Let alone out shoot people with machine guns. Second, Is this guy hot? There's just no way, he's the definition of dork right? Third, He's tough? My three year old scares me more than him. I doubt a gang member drug dealing killer would think twice about snatching a knot in his head. The way he's so dramatic, tilting his head, hands on hips, sports jacket pushed back by his hands, it's just too much. Oh and they all drive around in new Hummers that they chase down bad guys in. I absolutely can't stand him.

Well it must be just me because the show is constantly in the top ten of shows viewed. How can that be? How can people watch him and not throw up? I don't get it! This show is a crime scene and should be investigated by WTF.

Excuse me, I've got to go put on my sports jacket, my sun glasses and go buy a new Humvee.

What defines me? What defines you?

A little while ago I had conversation with a friend about how work shouldn't define us. This conversation stuck with me and has given me a lot to think about. I really don't know what defines me. Really, how would you know?


I am certainly not my job, my dad is a workaholic and has not been able to retire because he has nothing else. That will never be me, work is just work not my life. I've been a weightlifter for over 20 years, won a few trophies but I bet you wouldn't find one person who knows me that would use weightlifter to describe me, I leave that at the gym. Looks, clothing and styles change according to the market and other peoples taste so they certainly can't define me. Being a good father? That remains to be seen, and that's the conclusion I've come to.


I will be truly defined when I die. When the people that know me, love me and even hate me get to evaluate my whole life. What will they say to describe me? What one line will they use to describe my life? Yep, one line is what most people get. That line will be based on how they saw me define myself through out my life.


Here are some lines I've heard and used;


He sure loved his work


She really knew how to live


What a nice guy


She was the kindest person I knew


What a pain in the ass he was


She sure knew how to pinch a penny


He would have given you the shirt off his back


What a bastard he was


She was the perfect mother


He was the kind of friend you could count on


What choices am I making today that will define me tomorrow? Am I defining myself or letting others do it for me? Am I living a life I can look back on and see some worth and value? Which one of these lines will I be? Which line do I want to be? What defines me? What defines you?

Still Smilin'

Just an update on the songs I've loaded on my MP3


Jen - Mad world - Gary Jules (kept the Other Version)

20 Something - Like a Star -Corrine Bailey Ray (Kept Blanket)

Daughter - One Step Closer - Linkin Park (Kept No More Tears)

Lindsay - You and Your Hand - Pink (Kept Grace Kelly)

Marianita - Ramble On - Led Zeppelin

Harbinger - Vasoline- Stone Temple Pilots

Spiller5 -Place your Hands -Reef

David - Name - Goo Goo Dolls

Superman - Five For Fighting

Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down

Let me know if I got yours right or somethings changed.

Happy Ground Hogs Day!

Happy Ground Hogs Day!

Another BS post to push the pictures down

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that, the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

two roads diverged in a wood, and I --

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost

Just a poem I like to push my mug down the page.

Just Me

Molly Ivins R.I.P.

Molly Ivins died today. I detested the womans writing and thought she was intellectually dishonest but never missed a chance to read her column. Her ridiculous positions helped me strengthen my arguments. While I hated what she had to say I did admire her courage for saying what she believed the way she wanted to say it. She carved her own path in the journalism world and for that I take my hat off. Good-bye Molly I will miss the opportunity to yell at the paper in the way only you could make me do.