In my last post I made a reference to some problems I had in school and based on these problems my son's personality causes me some concern. When I was in grade school I was considered a sweet child that rarely had to be disciplined. I was shy and participated very little in class. My grades were good so no one challenged what I knew.

What my teachers failed to realize was that I was dyslexic. They let me slide by year after year while I became increasingly confused at the next level. Since I didn't know that I was any different than the other kids I just went along hoping it would click in one day. By the time I hit high school there were so many of the basics that I had missed that I struggled to keep up.

Looking back it's easy to see that if just one person would have looked past my personality it would have been obvious that my skills were severely lacking. I was passing my test because I could memorise the material the night before but in most cases failed to grasp the concepts of what I was being taught. Many teachers took me under their wing, and let me slide. Trust me, in an all boy military high school teachers will leave an average student alone, if he's not making trouble.

So this is why as much as I love my son's charming ways I plan to make sure his adorable smile is not the key to his future. I want him to reach his full potential. There is no substitute for good study habits and good work ethics. Popularity is great but it can't replace a solid education.

Charmed, I'm sure

The above picture scares me. I know to the average eye it doesn't look like anything is wrong. You could look at it for days and never find the problem but it's there and it's a big one.

See the kid on the far left? Yeah the cute one, that's my son. You may also notice that the coach is standing behind him with his hands on him. Now look to the right, see the cute little girl trying to get closer to the coach? That's his daughter, but he has chosen to stand behind my son. That's the problem, my son is a charmer.

This picture could be an example of every situation my son has been in. He's a charmer and he's damn good at it. He pulls people in with his outgoing personality and charisma until they let him get away with anything. Our coach was awesome this year and he really pushed the kids to do their best. He taught them discipline and work ethic but by the end of the year he was letting my son get away with being lazy and putting forth half efforts. The coach's wife made a point to come over to me during a game and tell me how much the coach liked my son and after every practice he would come home and tell her all the funny things my son had said and did. I agreed that he was a good kid but I was thinking "he pulled it off again".

(he has fake teeth in that the coach just gave him)

Later when trophies were handed out the coach spent a lot of time laughing it up with my son even though he was far from the best player or hardest worker on the team. I was a little embarrassed to see him get so much attention knowing he wasn't as passionate or as dedicated as some of the other kids.

This may seem like no big deal but it is. I was the same way growing up, except replace the outgoing personality with shyness and good manners. When I was in school the teachers let me slide on some very important lessons because they liked me and I didn't give them any trouble. Later in my school life, when teachers had to many students to get to know me, all the lessons I was allowed to get by with out really knowing came back to haunt me. People missed some very important signs about me because of my personality. Things that if caught early enough would have made things easier later.

I have tried telling his teachers to stay on him but they all smile and say how adorable he is and how pleasant it is to have him as a student. I don't want my son to get by on his charm. He needs all the tools it takes to get through life. He needs to be held to a high standard. Only then can we determine what direction he needs to be pointed in and what areas he needs help with.

Lesson Learned

A few months ago I lost my handy dandy sanDisk m240 MP3 player. You know the one with all of those 'keep on smiling' songs on it. I was pretty sure I had left it at my dad's garage when I changed the blades on his lawn mower but after an extensive search I realized I must have left it somewhere else.

As the days went on I started racking my brain as to where it may be and then it occurred to me that I always leave it in my vehicle at work and I never lock the doors. After that epiphany it didn't take long to arrive at the conclusion that somebody at work had stolen my mp3 player. I have to admit I was a bit sore for a few days sizing up all the little thieves to see who was the perpetrator of the crime.

Since I had no proof there wasn't much I could do so I went out and bought another, yep everything the same. Then not long after that I showed up at the gym and a young guy I know was walking around with my mp3 player. Oh how guilty I felt for thinking evil thoughts of my fellow employees. I was ashamed that I had allowed myself to give in to such thoughts without proof.

I started wondering how the guy at the gym got a hold of the player. Had he taken it from my gym bag on a night my partner shamed me into putting it up? No, that didn't seem possible because he was walking around with it without fear of me seeing it. Maybe it fell out of my bag and he picked it up or it was in lost and found and he claimed it. I had seen him talking nice with the girl at the counter. Either way he had no right to keep something that wasn't his.

I tried several times to get a good look at it to see if I recognized a mark or the play list on it. I mean really how many people would have Mad World, Wichita Lineman and Reef on their player at the same time? I just couldn't get a good look plus he could have changed the music. So I decided the next time I saw him I would ask him where he got it, and some other questions that would trick him into confessing that it wasn't his. Then I would describe the music that was on it and BAM! he would have to give it up.

Well the gods must have been smiling on me because I didn't see him in the gym for a few weeks and then my dad came into my office yesterday and plopped my old player down on my desk. He said he had found it in a bag in his garage. Yes, after all these months it was exactly where I left it.

So it was a good lesson learned. The next time I lose something I'll keep the finger of blame directly pointed at the guilty party, me.

Fair Minded

I was reading Marianita's blog the other day and she touched on a topic that is very near and dear to my heart. I have to say I was surprised by her post and the fact that she even notice the situation at all. Then I was shocked to read she thought the situation was unfair even though the whole set up was to her benefit. That says a lot about her in my opinion.


The problem stemmed around the fact that the people being picked for medical school were chosen in some cases in the name of diversity. Therefore leaving some of the best and most qualified students out of the system.


When I read that it made me sad as I have two boys just entering school and their future does not look good. As white males they have no group advocating for them and any attempt to do so would be met with charges of sexism and racism. Even some reading this might let that thought creep in.


Groups like NOW (National Organization for Women) and others have spent the past few decades championing women's causes. Demanding the schools change to address the needs of women in the name of equality. While I will be the first to agree there was definitely a time for such action, clearly times have changed. Groups that began to advocate equality for their members, don't seem to stop when equality is met. Worse they push on with the goal of tipping the scale in their favor. They seem to take the approach that we have fought hard to bring our causes to the forefront and if it has injured others in the process then that is not our concern. So much for equality, sounds more like the prusuit of domination to me.


The truth is that these organizations have had such an impact on schools that boys are falling behind as a direct result their new policies. Does that stop these organizations from continuing to push for more changes that favor girls? Or look for ways to make changes that are fair to all groups? No.


When my son started kindergarten they had an advanced learning program for some of the more gifted students. Placement for this program occurred before school started, how did they know who was gifted? Of course once in the program the extra attention all but guarantees advanced learning. As far as we could tell all the participants were girls. By first grade it was down to 90% girls but still a high percentage. When I asked my wife the criteria for being accepted into the program she said she didn't know but it did include the child having an interest in arts and crafts. An odd criteria if you ask me.


Just to make things clear, I don't feel that my son should be in the gifted program. He lacks the focus and the love of learning that you would expect one to find in such a program. I just never thought his inability to sit still for hours and do crafts would be a factor in him not being a candidate, as would be the case with most boys his age.


There are some other issues I have noticed in my son's school. A heavy emphasis has been place on being able to be calm and in control for hours at a time. Recesses have been shorten or skipped all together and class time lengthened. When they do have recess they are not allowed to play any game deemed aggressive. This includes, cops and robbers, cowboy and indians, pretending to be a monster and anything army. No rough housing, wrestling or touching. At lunch they are not allowed to talk for most of the time and must sit still.


Most boys I know are little balls of energy. Most of their outlets to release this energy have been tapered down or cut off completely. Is it any wonder that boys are the majority of the behavior problems in the classroom? What is the answer to these behavior problems? Is it to change the environment to make it more accommodating for the boys to be better students, like they did when the girls were struggling? No, the answer is to drug them and put them zombied out in the corner and be happy the disruption is fixed. Boys are placed on the drug Ritalin four to eight times as often as girls.


Evidence of this bias surfaced in my sons classroom this year. At the beginning of his first grade year my wife, who volunteers in my son's class once a week, was told that a certain girl was very "special " and way ahead of her peers. She was in the gifted program and was sat at a special table with a few others so that they could do advanced work. Several times this year my son has out performed this special student and his accomplishments were played down. My wife once witnessed my son's teacher out and out lie to cover up the fact that my son had completed all levels of his reading for the year before this particular student. Since first grade isn't a competition we let it go.


The result of these actions are becoming apparent today. The percentage of males on college campuses are falling dramatically. The ones that do make it through the now stacked system are faced with more hurdles of diversity placement in higher learning and finally affirmative action in the work place. While some may say "it's about time", I have to wonder if the same people will one day ask "where have all the men gone?"


Can we really raise real men if, as boys, they are taught to act like girls? If we teach them that their strengths are really weaknesses, should we expect them to have anything to contribute? If we steal their confidence at an early age can we expect them to feel they have something to offer society? Will women be happy marrying men who have had their spirits extinguished? I'm already meeting young men who don't see a difference between men and women. They wouldn't hold a door open for a woman, watch their mouth in front of women or refrain from hitting a woman. Is this the kind of man women are looking for? I fear this is what the new school system is about to produce by the millions, if they haven't already.


I am a big advocate of equal rights but I find something seriously wrong if to compete in a race you have break your opponents leg at the starting line. Is that really a victory we want? Is it one that we can live with? I for one have more faith in my daughter's abilities than to buy into that.

Lets go Liverpool!... Lets go Liverpool!

This Week is the big football game in Athens and Spiller's team The Liverpool Football Club is playing for the championship and 'ole Big Ears'. Since I know what it's like to be a dedicated sports fan, here is a big

GOOD LUCK !!!

to Liverpool in the championship Game.

Come on you red men !!!

Grrrrrrr!

One day I will go crazy. One day I will flip out and lose my mind. I may go down to the mall and scream at people with vulgar language while wearing a pink bunny suit or stand in the street, blocking traffic and babble like an idiot on crack but that day is coming.

And when it does and you hear "a man went crazy today at the local mall" and you turn to your friend and say I know that guy he's an old blogger buddy of mine. I want you to be able to tell people exactly why I am in the nut house.

It's because my wife STUFFS EVERYTHING INTO DRAWERS AND CLOSETS! Every drawer in our house is crammed full of... stuff. I can't even break it down to individual contents because they are to many and they are so insignificant it doesn't matter plus it would just piss me off more. Lets just say I could dump the whole lot of it in the trash and we wouldn't miss it a bit.

So every few months I spend MY time cleaning and organizing the draws and closets until one day I find them full again. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Why not just take an extra second and put the shit where it goes? Or just throw it in the trash because I swear to joe that's where its going if I have to do it again! Right before I stick a needle in my eye. Did I say GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR?

Expectations met and exactly why I love my neighbor

After a great Mother's Day weekend I headed back to work all gear up to make a few bucks. Not long after I arrived I knew something wasn't right. I became very aware of my stomach and had the strong urge to get sick. I thought maybe it would pass or that maybe I was just hungry but by 12:00 I actually thought I would feel better if I could throw up and get it over with.


Since I wasn't doing anybody any good at work I decided to leave and go home and get some rest. When I came in the house the wife was surprised to see me. I rarely get sick, and hardly ever miss work. As a matter of fact I think this was my first sick day this year. So I went straight up to bed and went to sleep. Apparently the wife read my post "expectations" (not really) because she couldn't do enough to help make me feel better. I didn't really want anything except to be left alone but it was nice to know she was willing. My 4 year old son was sweet too, he kept waking me up every 30 minutes and asking "what are you doing?" After a night of praying to the porcelain throne and losing seven pounds, I'm getting back to normal.


The only thing I forgot to ask my wife to do was water the garden. Since I was finally able to keep some food down I decided to head outside and turn the water on myself. As I approached the garden I saw my neighbor attending to his horses. As usual he gave me a little wave, I waved back and that was it. No pressure to walk over and chat, no second wave as I saw him again when I went to turn the water off and that's exactly why I love my neighbor.


I've had neighbors where I had to peek out the window before getting the mail just to avoid a hours worth of conversation. I have had neighbors that offer help every time they see me doing a chore or comment on how I'm going about my chores. "Hey David, you have the mower set to low, your going to ruin your grass." Then I have to say something like "I'll try that next time." even though my lawn looked better than his and I have been doing it like that for three years Grrrr! I guess I should appreciate neighbors like that, honestly I don't.


My neighbor and I have an unspoken agreement, if I need help I will ask. If he is outside it is not to see me. If he wants to talk, he'll call me on the phone. If he goes out of town I'll keep an eye on the his house. He is the sheriff of our little town and he knows I would never ask him to "fix a ticket" or anything else. This agreement really works for both of us. I know he feels the same way, not because he told me but just by the way he waves and goes about his business.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!!

To all you Mothers of the world out there...

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!

A special shout out to my children's mom. I am blessed to have a wife who is committed to raising healthy, happy and well adjusted children. Thank you for your devotion and inspiration. They are lucky to have you, as am I.

Some Days...

The wife and I have an on going disagreement. When it comes to helping out around the house I do my fair share. The wife is a stay at home mom but three kids all day, everyday is enough to overwhelm anyone. I work a lot but when I get the chance I pitch in and do what I can from laundry to dusting to vacuuming, even change a few diapers if needed. I never have to be asked or shamed into helping, I know she has it rough.


The only thing I don't do, refuse to do, and absolutely hate to do is cook. Can I do it? Yeah, enough that I'll never starve to death if the wife ever wises up and leaves me. I just can't stand to do it, especially for other people.


Well this has become thorn in the wife's side. You never cook, I always have to, why won't you help... nag, nag, nag. The wife cooks about 4 to 5 time a week. If I get home and she has decided not to cook I find myself something and never say a word. I also never complain about what she does fix. I mean if I'm not willing to step up to the plate, so to speak, then I have no right to voice my opinion.


Oh yeah, the disagreement. We eat out about twice a week. In my opinion when we eat out that is the same as me cooking, obviously the wife disagrees. I look at it like this, it cost me a few hours of work to earn enough money for a good meal. About the same amount of time it takes her to cook one. So the labor is about the same. So why isn't the same? Of course it's the same she just thinks I'm getting off easy somehow. I'm not.

Happy Cinco De Mayo!!!

Cute Counts, But Should It?

For the past few weeks my Dad has had an unwelcome little visitor dropping by his house. It seems this raccoon decided that the dog and cat food my Dad has belongs to him. He would come every night and eat all the food and open all the containers where the food was kept.


Eventually my Dad had enough and wanted him gone. He didn't want to shoot the little guy even though that's exactly what the armadillos get. I guess cuteness does matter in some cases. So he trapped him and brought him to work. Don't ask me why to work, but he did. The little guy was was indeed cute and didn't seem scared as much as he seemed bothered by the inconvenience of being caged.


Someone had the great idea to call animal control to come and get him and release him into a wild life refugee. After a few hours I grew tired of waiting on them and released the raccoon into the woods behind our business. There's a lot of land and a nice canal back there and I'm sure he'll be fine. When animal control arrived they informed us that they were there to put the raccoon down. Which surprised us but shouldn't have because they can't release something that may have rabies. Lucky raccoon to say the least.


Anyway, a few of us started talking about it and someone mentioned the movie Old Yeller. I saw that movie as a kid and cried like a baby. I will not watch Old Yeller to this day because I know I would have the same reaction. So I started thinking of all the movies that I refuse to watch because they would tug at the old emotional strings to much. They are..

Where The Red Fern Grows

Old Yeller
Rin Tin Tin

I was shocked to notice they all had a dog dying in common. What really bothered me is that while I know these three movies would make me cry like a baby, I couldn't think of one with a person dying that even comes close to these. What does that say about me? I have uncontrollable compassion for animals but not for people? How sad is that? Really, how sad is that!