"The people who do not dance are the dead." ~ Jerry Rose

In the comments on the last post Daughter of Night wrote:

I stand firm on my belief that EVERYONE can dance. Perhaps not everyone can dance like they WANT to, but everyone can dance!!

Dancing is one of the purest self-expressions and Divine manifestations that we, as humbly embodied humans, have. Use it! And refuse to care what others think!!

I laughed when I read it and this clip immediately came to mind. I offer the above clip as proof... no, not proof that Daughter is wrong but as proof that she is in fact RIGHT! While we may all wish we could dance better, I must admit that even what Elaine is doing in the above clip is dancing. While I may never be able to shake my insecurities enough to enjoy getting on the dance floor to shake my booty, I must acknowledge that I do have the ability to do so.

So Like Elaine, who at least had the courage to get up and do her own thing, the next time I hear the music, I... shall... dance!

Milestones

The great thing about having children is getting to watch them grow and see them hit those milestones. If you're lucky you will be there when they role over for the first time, start to crawl, take their first steps and say their first words.


No less important are some of those milestones you can plan to attend. Such things as when they eat solid food, have their first birthday and go to school for the first time. Well, this past weekend my little girl had her first haircut. Some may think that these events are unimportant but not to me. There is something magical about watching your child experience something for the first time. It doesn't always go as I would hope but just knowing I was there makes me feel part of their life, because well, I am.

The Dream Maker

I am lucky that I have a job that gives me a chance to affect people's lives. Nothing as noble as a doctor, policeman or teacher but it can be a satisfying way to make a living. Most days that means I get the opportunity to help people take a giant step towards a better life. I don't write this to brag, not at all. Actually it's just the opposite.

I sell equipment to people that allows them to go into business for themselves. They come to me with the hope that purchasing this equipment will improve their life and their families lives. The opportunity they dream of is there but I'm not selling dreams. See, not everyone who qualifies to buy my equipment is qualified to own it. In other words just because you can operate this equipment doesn't mean you know how to operate a business.

I've been doing my job for a long time and I can tell in about 15 minutes when someone isn't going to make it. While I'm not always right, I am right most of the time. That's the problem. Is it my job to talk them out of buying what I'm selling? No. Is it my job to say you need to give this some more thought? No. Is it my job to crush their hopes by just simply turning them down before they make a mistake? No. I'm just selling equipment here, I'm not selling dreams.

The funny thing is they want me to sell them that dream. They beg me to lie to them and tell them how easy and great it will be. I won't. No matter how many times I remind them that there is risk to what they are considering they choose to ignore it. They urge me to sugar coat everything. I don't. Still they plow ahead dodging my warnings like a mad man running threw a minefield. As much as I direct them away from those mines I know they will eventually find one because they have their eyes closed. Closed, thinking about their dreams coming true. I can only sit on the sidelines as they plot their destruction because I don't sell mine detectors and I don't sell dreams.

So what's my responsibility? Do I take their chance of trying away? Of course not, even if I did someone down the street will be more than happy to sell to them. They will go along with the dreamer and sugar coat their situation and what ever else it takes to get the sale. That's what they do. That's what I'm suppose to do. I mean if you buy a knife is anybody there reminding you that knives can kill? They can.

So I sell them the equipment, not the dream, because I don't sell dreams, and I wait... and hope... and pray... that they make it. I hope I'm wrong about the ones who seemed unqualified, yes there are times when I love being wrong. Sadly though, I'm not wrong about these things enough.

When these people finally realize they have made a mistake it is to late. They have elevated their life style to a point they can not maintain. Some lose a spouse, their house, their car but the worse part is that almost all of them lose that dream. A dream I was not selling. The bright enthusiastic faces are replaced with worried, dejected ones. The people that came to me with so many plans are now scrambling to find a plan to save themselves. It's sad, and no amount of "I told you so" will make me feel any less responsible.

But lets not forget the ones who do make it. The ones that allow me to feel good about the money I make. The ones that move out of that bad neighborhood. The ones who can send their kids to college. The ones that come back and thank me for all my help in making their dream come true. Of course I take no credit for that because like I said I don't sell dreams, but I do buy into them...I certainly do.

Lindsay's color quiz

This is a quiz Lindsay posted on her blog. I took it and I am shocked to find out so much about myself. Could simply picking out colors give so much insight into who we are and what problems we have? I hope not. Especially when taken by someone who's colorblind. Maybe that's why I sound like some kind of serial killer.

Raw Thoughts's Existing Situation

Acts in an orderly, methodical, and self-contained manner. Needs the sympathetic understanding of someone who will give him recognition and approval.

Raw Thoughts's Stress Sources

Feels unappreciated and finds the existing situation threatening. Wants personal recognition and the esteem of others to compensate for the lack of like-minded people with whom to ally himself and make himself more secure. His sensual self-restraint makes it difficult for him to give himself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and merge with another. This disturbs him as he regards such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome; only by not succumbing to them, he feels, can he withstand the difficulties of the situation. Wants to be valued as a desirable associate and admired for his personal qualities.

Raw Thoughts's Restrained Characteristics

Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.
Conditions are such that he will not let himself become intimately involved without making mental reservations.

Raw Thoughts's Desired Objective

Needs a change in his circumstances or in his relationships which will permit relief from stress. Seeking a solution which will open up new and better possibilities and allow hopes to be fulfilled.

Raw Thoughts's Actual Problem

Agitation, unpredictability, and irritation accompanying depleted vitality and intolerance of further demands have all placed him in a position in which he feels menaced by his circumstances. Feeling powerless to remedy this by any action of his own, he is desperately hoping that some solution will provide a way of escape.

Raw Thoughts's Actual Problem #2

Feels insufficiently valued in his existing situation, and is seeking different conditions in which he will have greater opportunity of demonstrating his worth.

Take the ColorQuiz yourself right now!

I've been Simpsonized!

Apparently this is what I would look like as a member of the Simpson family.

I tried it again and got this, better.

Harbinger dared me! Now how do I change back?!!!

http://www.simpsonizeme.com/index.php#

The stolen Morph

I'm not sure this will work but thought, what the hell?
20 Something did it first, then Lindsay, so why not? The only problem was I couldn't find a guy I knew or wanted to be associated with so you get this...

The first sign of things to come

The other day I saw something that reminded me of a story I had almost forgotten. I decided to write it down so I would remember the first time I knew parenting was going to be harder than I thought.

When my oldest son Jacob was around four years old we took him to a pet store to buy some fish. The store was very busy and as little children do he was so caught up at looking in the fish tanks he forgot to look where he was walking.

I was about 15' away and saw the whole thing. A very tall man, in his early thirties was walking towards Jacob. When he realized Jacob was going to walk into him, he did one of those spread the legs, hop from foot to foot moves that people do when they try to avoid running into a child. He never had a chance, Jacob walked right under him and became tangled in his legs. Jacob went down. How the man didn't fall I'll never know.

As I was getting to Jacob he was already up and the man was apologizing. Well Jacob was having none of it. He looked at the man and accused him of pushing him down. I told the guy I saw the whole thing and he didn't do anything wrong. Upon hearing this Jacob got louder with his accusation that he was pushed. By now all the people in the section were staring at the poor man. I then apologized to the man for Jacob running into him. This seem to set Jacob off as he pointed at the man and screamed "YOU PUSHED ME DOWN! WHY DID YOU DO THAT? WHY DID YOU PUSH ME DOWN?"

The man kept apologizing, I was telling Jacob it was his own fault and Jacob was getting louder. I was feeling bad for the guy because there is no way to defend yourself against a four year old hurling accusations at you. God help him He was trying but Jacob had him backing up. Then Jacob turned on the tears. When the man saw the tears he went into full retreat. With everybody watching he turned and all but ran out of the store. I felt horrible but I could tell Jacob was satisfied he had proven his point, the tears immediately stopped.

At that moment I realized that raising my son was going to be harder than I thought. Forget the diapers, the potty training and the sleepless nights, all child's play for the amateurs to sort out. When I saw my son hold his ground so firmly against a larger and older opponent it surprised me a bit.


I spent the 30 minute ride home trying to explain to my son that he wasn't pushed and that he was wrong to yell at anyone in public especially an adult. His reality was that he was pushed and he felt he had the right to defend himself, I could do nothing to change his mind. It may seem like a small incident but It was certainly a sign of things to come.

Once Again, I'm a Big Ass Jerk!!!

When I arrived home Tuesday night I had something I wanted to do on the computer. Nothing important but I had it on my mind. So I came in, said my hellos and sat down to, get 'er done.


Within five minutes the phone rang. The wife handed it to me. It was a guy from work who had been off for the day playing golf. He wanted to know what he had missed and what to expect for tomorrow. I was really aggravated to have to relive my day for him and to have to stop what I was doing to tell him things that clearly could have waited. I think he was driving home and was bored to tell the truth.



Anyway the wife hung around for a few moments and saw quite a show of me rolling my eyes, throwing myself around in my chair and literally banging my head on the desk in frustration. After about 15 to 20 minutes the guy finally let me go. Great! now I can get back to it.



After three clicks of the mouse the wife walks back into the room.



Who was that?



Just a guy from work.



What did he want?


Nothing, he was just asking about some stuff.



Like what? Blah, Blah, Blah...



At this point I start rolling my eyes again and I 'm sure I was ignoring her a little. Ok, maybe a lot. You would think her seeing my reaction to the first call would have been enough but it wasn't. She kept talking and asking and on and on and on.



Listen, I really want to get this done. I know you had to clearly see I was aggravated with the phone call. Can't I just have a few minutes to get this done without interruption? Is that asking to much? Sheesh!



That's how I remember it anyway, the truth is it was probably a lot harsher with a lot of tension in my voice. Needless to say she left the room. After I finished what I was doing I found her and gave one of those half ass apologize. You know the ones, 'I'm sorry but I'm really not because you caused it.'



So the next day the wife and the kids were going away for the night on a trip to the beach. I was still mad because "she didn't respect my time and she didn't accept my apology". So I didn't say much and left for work, yep the cold shoulder treatment. When I came home that night they were gone and I had all the time I wanted.



Too much time to be honest. I had time to realize I might have ruined her trip and over what?! A few minutes I could have waited and still had plenty of time to do what I wanted. I had let the phone call get to me and then I took it out on her. I was not trying to ruin her trip, I was happy they were going but I'm sure that's not what she was thinking.



So I called her cell phone, which she didn't answer, and left a message. I apologized for real this time and told her I wanted her to have a good time and we would work it out when she got home, not to give it another thought.



Why do I get so wrapped up in myself that I feel I have the right to treat people bad? Why do I get agravated when someone I love wants my attention? Why do I forget the important things sometimes? Why do I have to be a big ass jerk?

R.I.P. Mr. CS

A friend sent this to me in an email, it really hits home for me.




Obituary of the Late Mr. Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain
why the early bird gets the worm
Life isn't always fair
And maybe it was my fault

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; His wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Happy

Fourth of July

America

Boring Follow-up to "Simple? Never"

Just a follow up to Simple? Never. After the employee left on bad terms I received the following emails. People do have their nerves don't they?

Hey David,

I am supposed to be closing on my house at the end of this week. I need a copy of my pay stubs from the last 2 months. Would it be possible to have you email this to me at your earliest convenience I would appreciate it. Thank you

Employee

Another

Thank you David for the paper work, hopefully that is what she needs. I also wanted to quickly ask you about my vacation time. I thought I had been back at the company for over a year. I know M said I have to work to get vacation. That is one reason I didn't come back to work. I may have not always been there but I worked my tail off for your company and I think that I had been there a year then I should be entitled to my vacation pay. let me know what you think, thank you.

Employee

Notice how he didn't bring up vacation until after I had given him the paperwork he needed.

Mr. Employee,

I have avoided talking with you about the way I feel about how you left our company, obviously there would be no point. Since you have decided to ask me about your vacation I will take the time to respond, which is more respect than you gave us when you left. First of all our handbook, that you signed, states

*Vacation* Full time employees will accrue vacation at the rate of 40 hours per year for the first three years of continuous employment. One year is equal to having worked 252 days. Vacation hours will not be issued until 252 days have been worked. A worked day is defined as an employee working more than half a day, is out on a paid holiday or has the sick time or vacation time to cover an absent day. Vacation will accrue at the rate of 80 hours after the employee’s third year of continuous service. An employee must work 252 days each year before any vacation time accrues. Accrued vacation is listed on each employee’s paycheck stub. A SUPERVISOR MUST APPROVE VACATION TIME BEFORE IT MAY BE TAKEN. Earned vacation may be accrued up to a maximum of 80 hours. Employees are compensated for all accrued vacation time, up to the maximum of 80 hours, upon termination from Our Company, Inc. for any reason. Such compensation is based on information from vacation leave records. On December 31, every employee’s leave record is adjusted to show no more than 80 hours accrual.

I checked your records and you missed 24 days of work in the last year. Even if four of those days were paid sick leave you would still be short of the 252 days required to qualify for vacation. If we owed you vacation we would pay you because we have always tried to do what we said but we do not owe you any. As far as not coming back because of something that was said I find that hard to believe. It was obvious on Friday that you had already found a job elsewhere. You seemed to take joy in telling me that you had LIED about being sick the two days before. I know you feel "you worked you tail off for our company" but did you really think we didn't see the time you spent on the phone, the times you disappeared in our service truck and the other stuff?

The 24 days you missed affected our company in a negative way. It honestly came as no surprise that you tried to leave us short handed the way you did. A simple phone call could have saved us the time of having customers sit out by the shop waiting for you to come to work. Somehow I get the feeling that 'sticking it to us' for some imagined slight was your intention. So lets get this straight. You came to us for your job back, you failed a drug test and we took you back and even after all the missed days you still had a job with which to feed your family. You're mad because we wouldn't pay you more but YOU failed to do the one thing we asked you to do and told you was required to get a raise, show up consistently for work.

Despite all of this I do hope you land on your feet and find a good job. You have a family to support and no one here will find any joy in you failing to do that, so good luck to you in the future.

Sincerely,

David

Thank you for a response and thank you for the good wishes. The explanation was good and made sense. Thank you for letting me back to work with your company, not that it will make anything better between you I and your company but I am sorry for the way I left. I wish I had done it different. I never tried to hide from anyone using the phone or leaving in the service truck. Truth be known a lot of the time I was on the phone I would be on the phone with a customer, or the parts house. It got to the point where it was easier to call the parts house and get what I wanted rather then try to explain it to the parts runner but I'm not writing to argue. I just wanted to say thank you for your blessing.

Employee

Of course the other employees where mad at me for helping him with his paper work and being respectful to him in my reply. They all wanted me to answer the employee with the shop foreman's suggestion. It was shorter and fitting but "Fuck You!" just ain't my style, but I did give it some thought, I really did.

For Harbinger

This is what I see on your blog post






Is this it?

Happy 140th Birthday Canada!!!

(Sorry it's a little late)