My sad secret
I just couldn't take seeing the original post so I replaced it with these lyrics by the GOO GOO DOLLS. Almost every line of this song fits how I feel since it happened.
NAME
And even though the moment passed me by
I still can't turn away
Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose
Got tossed along the way
And letters that you never meant to send
Get lost or thrown away
And now we're grown up orphans
That never knew their names
We don't belong to no one
That's a shame
But if you could hide beside me
Maybe for a while
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell em your name
Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are
You grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell em your name
I think about you all the time
But I don't need the same
It's lonely where you are come back down
And I won't tell em your name
12 comments:
I don't feel different about our interaction at all. I'm glad you told me. Glad you said it all from start to finish. What a scary ordeal to go through on your own. It's a blessing that your children were enough to help pull you through. I have no doubts that your a good person. Bad people don't think that much about a life. I've seen a lot of people die. By their own hand, or by others, and the truth is that people that feel no responsibility for their actions keep going like nothing ever happen. It barely slows them down.
It did more then slow you down.. It brought you to a stop.
I'm glad your going again.
Thank you for taking the time to read it.
Now that you know about my shame and guilt feel free to unload some of yours. Some times an outside source can help put a different perspective on things. I must warn you, If I feel that saying something you won't like will help I'm going to say it. So blogger beware :)
I like other people's opinions. Getting a fresh perspective on things often helps steer me in a better direction.
I'll have to figure out where to post mine. :) Not family friendly...
I'm glad that I read yours though. It's stayed with me today. Given me something to think on.
It makes me feel for you that you've never been able to share that with anyone else. Maybe it will help you heal even more. That's what I'm keeping my fingers crossed for anyways.
I am currently working on "my saddest moments" post... Oh you are sooooo in for it. *wink*
It probably won't be done till tomorrow. :)
Ha. The more I try to peice it together, the less I think I really can. I don't know if anyone would understand...
Yeah, I thought I was going to be able to do it in a few paragraphs and it turned into a whole book but it did make me feel better to get it out of my head to somewhere else.
I think trying to piece it together is good. The thing that helped me was examining it from every angle possible. Like, that's not normal for her, why would he do that or maybe they meant it this way. I did that until all the pieces fit and made sense. That took over two years so it does take time.
I liked the angle of your "book". I think it's great that you've managed not to be really bitter. I think I would be.. But I see where your faith in people was damaged. Mine would have been too. I'm still rolling it around in my head. I hope this doesn't come out completely wrong, but it feels nice to know that there are people out there that have been through the same series of emotions. I know it's ridiculous to think I'm alone in my misery, but it really feels like it sometimes. I still wish you didn't have such a sad story to tell, but it's done me some good.
No you're not wrong at all in some ways I'm a stronger person because of it. I will always wish it had not happened but I know I have grown as a person because of it. I had lived a pretty sheltered life up until that point. It was the first time I had a problem that couldn't be fixed. It was the first time I had to think things out on my own.
No you're not the only one in misery but I have learned that your misery is yours and you can either own it or it will own you. I have also found that emotions can not be trusted and should rarely be used to guid our actions.
Do you think it's odd that it's often easier to talk to a stranger about depression then it is to talk to your own family?
It seems like I should want to confide in someone I know but it's so much easier to admit things to someone that doesn't know me. I've almost got my story down for you to read.. It's felt kinda good just to write it down.
:)
I think with family you don't know if they are telling you the truth or even listening to you at all. Also you have to face them everyday so I think we guard our speech so they won't be able to use it against us.
With me or other strangers you can control how much information we get. How far the conversation goes and you know if it starts going in the wrong direction you can stop it.
I already have some questions about a few things but I'm waiting to read your story to see if I'm on the right track.
Often I find that the Goo Goo Dolls can explain much more then they should be able too.
*nod*
someone once said you know you're really f**ked up when you can't find a song to explain it
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