Always say you're sorry
So I admitted to the wife that I had been a bit (ahem) of an asshole Thursday night. To my surprise not much was made of it until Sunday. That's when she arranged for me to spend the day with my oldest son and his best friends family.
I'll have to admit it was cool. Ok, it was very cool! My son's friends dad is a doctor who just, a week ago, got back from a tour in Afghanistan. So him, his three sons, my son and me went to a local museum. The male testosterone was aloud to flow and flow it did. The museum is full of real military aircraft and any other World War II artifacts you can imagine. My son is a nut about the military so he was in heaven.
I enjoyed talking with the other dad about his experiences in Afghanistan and got a chance to thank him for his service to our country. After the museum we went back to their house and played a great game of back yard football. It was awesome getting to see him enjoy time with his older boys, ages 12 and 14 after being gone for eight months. I was happy they let me be part of it. The only down side is I'm going to have to tell the wife I had another good time because of her, damn!
12 comments:
Great day!! ;-)
Aww I'm sure that is a good thing though, that you can tell your wife you had a good day because of her?
No it's not a good thing because I'm a very unsocial creature and this will only reinforce, in her mind, the need for me to get out more. :(
Unsocial? Hmmmm. I'm not sure you've given yourself enough credit with that label. I think you are just selective about your company. ;-)
Being selective about my company is a nice way to put it but it is becoming a issue with the wife.
To be totally blunt about your situation, I have lived it for years, unsocial or whatever you want to call it.
The one thing I do know by now is that people don't change, they can change the odd thing here and there, but they cannot change their inner self.
Another thing is women marrying men, thinking they can change them,
never works. I have seen this over and over.
And talking here is far removed from a real social setting, you know that, you say things here that you may never say elsewhere.
Becoming an issue with the wife, Doesn't sound good.
The only way I've seen it work, is if the partner is somewhat the same, or if they truly let you be yourself,(no nagging or complaining). A rare occurance, I'd say.
We are not too different in this regard, you and me.
This is a constant topic with some of my friends, you cannot change your core.
I knew I posted 'Fake Plastic Trees' for a reason.
See the last bit,
'and if I could be who you wanted,
if I could be who you wanted,
all the time,
all the time.
Give it a listen RT, you will never forget it.
I may sound harsh, but this is what i think!
I agree with all that you said Harbinger. I think it is hard to change your core but things can happen in life that can change you. As a rule when a man marries, he does not plan on changing his ways. He will probably get worse as the motivation for change is gone.
To be fair to the wife I wasn't always like this. So I guess I'm an exception to the rule. During the 20 years we've been together she has definitely seen me handle myself in social situations. The problem is she thinks because I can be social I enjoy it and that's just not true. Lately, the thought of being around a group of strangers actually makes me feel ill.
I will download the song and let you know what I think :)
Wow.
Um...
Yeah.
I feel ya, brother. Though for different reasons, I think. But it sounds like one of those things that's going to need to be talked about honestly, and soon. But you knew that!!
Just for the record, it's okay to be anti-social. It means you're paying attention.
thank god. I was itching to correct everyone 'anti-social'. :) thanks daughter.
Right. Everyone is different. I prefer thoughful people who speak when they have something to add rather than just making noise. Its ok to not want to be in social situations. We're creatures of comfort. I'd much rather be at home watching a film or something. Although I spend a lot of time going out, it's usually with people I know and know well. I can't stand the thought of going to a bar, standing around looking nervous with all the other nervous people, trying to look like they're having a good time.
Just explain to the wife that meeting strangers on your day off is hard work and it's supposed to be your day off. you don't mind doing it occasionally, but you'd rather invite people over for dinner or something.
Forgive me if I am wrong - i have been known to be. But she 'may' be a little bored. The xB/F used to really annoy me like that. I would have to do all the socialising and phone people, he'd rely on me. It was annoying because he wasn't like that when I first met him. Then again that was a more deep rooted problem.
Just talk to her. :) TALK!
Daughter and 20 Something: you are both right. Unfortunately in the community we live in participation is the law of the land. My wife has been a saint about handling most of our social obligations. I do force myself to do the things I should but this usually leads more obligations. Our biggest problem is the wife spends the day with three kids and I 'socialize' with adults at work all day so when the weekend comes we have different agendas. but it's my problem and I'm working on it. Thanks for the support :))
Or 20some, he 'was' like that when you met him and he acted a different way because the relationship was new and he did not want you to see the real him.
What i'm saying RT,is Anti- social behaviour tends to get worse not better, without help.
The thought of being around strangers actually makes you feel ill- sounds like anxiety problems,that can lead to anti-social problems.
You are exactly right harbinger. It is anxiety and I know the source of it. I'm doing the things I need to do but I'm not liking it. Hopefully that will change.
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