For whom the bell tolls
I got some bad news this past week. My uncle became sick and had to go the hospital. Within a few days we found out he had cancer. He was given six months to one year to live. While they were waiting to find out what kind of treatment they would try he was readmitted Friday and the months turned into three weeks. Well it looks as though he won't even make that because as of now they expect him to die any hour. Very sad.
Although I saw him a few times a year, every year of my life, I can't say we were close. He was a private type person and never had much to say but he was always nice and very well liked. He raised a tremendous family that anyone would be proud to have. His daughter had his last grandchild just two weeks ago.
I don't mention this to get sympathy as I said I were not close but it does have me down. I have always felt lucky to have been blessed to have many aunts and uncles. Six aunts on my mom's side alone. This is the third uncle to die. I can't help but think in the next few years I will watch this process repeated many times. There is a part of me that's glade that I was never that close with many of them. I know that sounds bad but it doesn't sound so bad today.
I have an older brother and a younger sister. All day I kept thinking that one of us will be the first to die and one will be the last. One of us will go to the others funerals and one of us will not attend any. Worse than the thought is knowing this is a fact and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Death is such a sad part of life, one I will never get use to or understand.
Now I have to be ready to put on my suite and go to my uncles funeral and wonder when is the next one going to happen.
Although I saw him a few times a year, every year of my life, I can't say we were close. He was a private type person and never had much to say but he was always nice and very well liked. He raised a tremendous family that anyone would be proud to have. His daughter had his last grandchild just two weeks ago.
I don't mention this to get sympathy as I said I were not close but it does have me down. I have always felt lucky to have been blessed to have many aunts and uncles. Six aunts on my mom's side alone. This is the third uncle to die. I can't help but think in the next few years I will watch this process repeated many times. There is a part of me that's glade that I was never that close with many of them. I know that sounds bad but it doesn't sound so bad today.
I have an older brother and a younger sister. All day I kept thinking that one of us will be the first to die and one will be the last. One of us will go to the others funerals and one of us will not attend any. Worse than the thought is knowing this is a fact and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Death is such a sad part of life, one I will never get use to or understand.
Now I have to be ready to put on my suite and go to my uncles funeral and wonder when is the next one going to happen.
9 comments:
I'm moved by this post but every thing I feel is so hard to articulate.
When I started working at the local hospice I felt like I wanted to go into that work so no one would have to die alone. I was afraid that some where, a good person was at the end of their journey and didn't have anyone there to make sure they had safe passage to the next world. It wasn't until I had worked the job for a month or so that I realized it was as much for me as it was for them. It became a healing experience to sit with a person during their last moments, and then help the family move through one of the hardest steps afterwards. It was a blessing that they allowed me into their lives to share one of the most intimate moments that a person can have.
My family is very small. My mom and dad have my brother and me (and our spouses/children.) That's all.
My brother and I will be responsible for burying my parents, and eventually one of us will have to carry the burden of death alone.
The only thing that gives me comfort is that I know without a doubt that at the end of our lives my family, every last one of them will know that they were loved. They will know we will carry on their memory, and pass our joy on to our children to remember too.
We'll do that forever... until the last of us stands alone.
I don't think any of these words were actually words of comfort but be assured that you aren't alone in the way that you feel.
Just because you weren't close to your uncle doesn't mean that the end of life doesn't hurt you still. That in itself means that you have empathy, and compassion.
Spend the time you have left in the world telling other people what your uncle was like, and what he did when he was alive. That way you can keep alive forever.
Sorry about that huge post.
If you check my archives and go to Monday, January 24, 2005 you'll find "Pat's" story.
It was the only way I could think of to ease my pain after her death.
Sorry to hear about the bad news.
Death, and then there's death, it's the number one topic in my brain.
When I was young I hardly ever heard of anyone dying, now as Iam older I think of all my friends that have gone away. That is one of the harder things you have to face as you age.
I fear death so much it's like an obsession, I try not to, but I can't help it.
It is like the loneliest thing I can think of, we all have to do it, but the thought of missing my friends, never seeing them again is overwhelming to me.
I hope Iam not getting you more down, I just think that death is a whole giant topic that needs much discussion.
I always listen to this song when someone close to me passes.
It is sad but at the same time it seems to give me enormous hope.
It's by "Yes" from "Relayer"
SOON
Soon, oh soon the light,
Pass within and soothe this endless night
And wait here for you,
Our reason to be here.
Soon, oh soon the time,
All we move to gain will reach and calm;
Our heart is open,
Our reason to be here.
Long ago, set into rhyme.
Soon, oh soon the light,
Ours to shape for all time,
Ours the right;
The sun will lead us,
Our reason to be here.
Soon, oh soon the light,
Ours to shape for all time,
Ours the right;
The sun will lead us,
Our reason to be here.
i'm so sorry to hear that your uncle is unwell. There seems to be so much death around at the moment. As Harbinger says, when i was younger I hardly heard of anyone dying - or I guess it didn't affect you as much - as you didn't really understand. Now you know of the pain and suffering it causes the person and the people that love that person.
I'm not afraid of death. Death is inevitable, it WILL happen to all of us, it's the only certain thing in life, so why waste the valuable time we have worrying about it.
The time would be better spent taking care of the ones you love and that love you, so when you're finally gone they will know what a special person they were.
At times like this I like to take the time to send my mum, dad and sister something nice. Just a card or text message or email. :)
At times like this I wish I did believe in god. It would be nice to think about loved ones being in heaven, being looked after.
Thanks everybody I really appreciate it. I am close with his children, my cousins, so it's hard to watch them go through this.
Just another reminder to count our blessings while we can.
Don't think like that. One of my closest family members has cancer and I think about it all the time but there is nothing I can do about it. All I can do is train my mind how to deal with it so I am prepared for when it actually happens.
Death is an awful part of life but we do not know what happens on the other side - from what I have heard there is peace and understanding.
When you lose someone - don't ever think of them as being dead - their spirit is always alive and with you.
My thoughts are with you.
I am sorry for your impending loss. I hope your uncle's last days are spent without pain and in the loving glow of comfort from family and friends.
After all, there is only one "cause" of death: Life.
Mine has been - and will be - well worth the cost. I hope your uncle's has been as well.
{{{{{RT}}}}}
Something you aid the other day david - Your children making you immortal? That stuck with me for some reason.
I texted the F/P when he was with his father at his bedside.
Something about special people like his dad being loved by special people like him don't die, he will be immortalised by him and the beautiful children he will have one day. :)
If seemed to help him, he showed his mum.
I got him some baby booties on saturday and left a note 'For the one who will make you and your dad immortal'
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