What defines me? What defines you?
A little while ago I had conversation with a friend about how work shouldn't define us. This conversation stuck with me and has given me a lot to think about. I really don't know what defines me. Really, how would you know?
I am certainly not my job, my dad is a workaholic and has not been able to retire because he has nothing else. That will never be me, work is just work not my life. I've been a weightlifter for over 20 years, won a few trophies but I bet you wouldn't find one person who knows me that would use weightlifter to describe me, I leave that at the gym. Looks, clothing and styles change according to the market and other peoples taste so they certainly can't define me. Being a good father? That remains to be seen, and that's the conclusion I've come to.
I will be truly defined when I die. When the people that know me, love me and even hate me get to evaluate my whole life. What will they say to describe me? What one line will they use to describe my life? Yep, one line is what most people get. That line will be based on how they saw me define myself through out my life.
Here are some lines I've heard and used;
He sure loved his work
She really knew how to live
What a nice guy
She was the kindest person I knew
What a pain in the ass he was
She sure knew how to pinch a penny
He would have given you the shirt off his back
What a bastard he was
She was the perfect mother
He was the kind of friend you could count on
What choices am I making today that will define me tomorrow? Am I defining myself or letting others do it for me? Am I living a life I can look back on and see some worth and value? Which one of these lines will I be? Which line do I want to be? What defines me? What defines you?
11 comments:
You think A LOT don't you. :)
From looking at your pictures (if your kids weren't in them, I woulnd't think you were so kind and considerate and thoughtful.
From the things you say, i think your kids will define you. The unquestioned love you have for them will make them the people they are and the people their kids will be.
Thank you. Yeah, I think way to much. Can't seem to turn the brain off.
I posted this last night and this morning I was listening to NPR and a reporter who is dying of cancer said he hoped when he died people would say "he did his best".
As I listen to it it sounded a lot like this post. Very sad that this guy gets on the radio and talks about his death.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=7135826
Your like me - you think too much on a fairly deep level!
I think too deeply sometimes but hmmmm this is all very interesting. The whole “what do people really see me as”. It’s funny how one person can see you completely differently to how someone else would.
Different people, different circumstances – of course its only natural to act differently. I don’t know anyone who acts the same around EVERYONE and anyone that does is a genius.
I’m more self aware around some people than I am others, as a teenager I never understood why this is, but now I realise it’s just a confidence thing, or trick if you like?
I always wonder what it would be like if I was to die . (as negative as that sounds) But I think to myself “What would my funeral be like?” “How many people would show up?” And would I be there in sprit myself?
I think the majority of people I know would say that I loved shopping , yawn yawn! But that I was determined and tried hard in life, also a little complicated and neurotic – ha ha!
An interesting subject though. These things tend to float through my mind too.
that story is sad but not. The guy seems to be at peace. He's comes to terms with it, he's got time to think about the things that are important to him, unlike the guy that got run over on the way to work.
I don't really think about my funeral as I won't be here anymore, but I do think about the impact me simply existing, has on others. Something as simple as walking out into the street and changing someones life in the smallest way. Or writing a blog and affecting someones life in the tiniest of ways. :)
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to mull this concept over again... it's been awhile since I was obliged to remember whose life this is. :-)
Bravo!!
A
If you had an envelope and inside, the exact time and date of your death was written, would you open it and take a look? I think about this and have this terrible sense that I would look, I think I just would not be able to not look.
Then, what kind of life could you possibly live.
Great, more reasoning to add to my insomnial lists,keep me awake listening to this mind a little longer.
Again, interesting point. The truth is that, if you opened it and saw you had a long life and were not going to die until fifty years or so you might be like "oh well got quite a long time to live".
My friend had his fortune told as a laugh in a pub once, the fortune teller told him lots of things about his life that were going to happen and they all came true..
She told him how long he would live. Sometimes I think to myself "Ok well i know that wont happen yet as he still has x amount of years, bla bla. I should not think like that but it's hard not to!
I know lots of people are skeptical etc about these things. It's a dangerous subject. I personally would not want to know - I just live in hope, and pray that I can make the very best of my life and time on this earth. Living is amazing, and to carry the human body around for however many years is also a privilege.
So many people look on the negative side of life too often , sometimes just knowing that you can move your arm, breathe, go for a walk is a relief. Eating is a pleasure, sex, exercise, whatever! These are all things we take for granted.
Sort of on topic- this little movie is really great! Give it a look, What do you think? It's called "Bullet In The Brain".
http://zed.cbc.ca/go?CONTENT_ID=9968&c=contentPage
Take it from a two-time BC survivor: it doesn't matter what's in your envelope... live every day as your last. And try not to think too much. ;-)
<3
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Just being yourself is defining you.
How others choose to define you is another thing, and does not really matter.
If you live your life treating yourself and others with respect, then that will be what you have done, nobody can say otherwise.
I agree that you define you but will you be the guy who stops and helps a person load a heavy box into their car or rush on by because there is nothing in it for you?
Our actions make us who we are. The reaction to those actions by the people who really know us help define us.
When a man sits in a room and meditates all day he may believe he's a deep thinker but the people that know him knows he doesn't provide for his family. That he doesn't lift a finger to help his fellow man that in fact he's lazy.
I don't believe we can discount others opinions completely. You have to trust the ones you love to advise you when you're being an ass. I for one don't always know.
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