Per Daughter

You Are 85% American

You're as American as red meat and shooting ranges.Tough and independent, you think big.You love everything about the US, wrong or right.And anyone who criticizes your home better not do it in front of you!

How American Are You?

Not exactly true :)

I'm a great uncle, Damn it!

I have a nephew that life has not been kind to. I was dating my wife when we found out her brother was expecting his second child. From the minute he was born I knew he didn't stand a chance.

His parents were already divorced by the time they had him. Not to far along in his life they both remarried and started new families of their own. Being in a divorced family is hard enough and his parents did fight about custody but not about who would get him but who wouldn't. The child was raised between two houses in different states. Any action by him was followed by the reaction of being shipped away to the other parent.

One house offered an abusive step dad with kids of his own and a new baby from my nephews mom. The other house offered a young step mom, only ten to twelve years older than my nephew, with two new babies with his dad. The second house also featured drugs and alcohol abuse.

We watched helpless as he struggled with school and life. Well last year at the age of eighteen out of the blue he joined the army. I was so happy to hear the news. Finally he would get the discipline and guidance he never had all his life. It came as no surprise that he excelled in the structured environment of the army. Of course there are some who worry that he would be harmed in Iraq. I too am one of those people but I would rather he go and serve with the chance of coming home with a better direction that could make his life worth living. If he dies, at least it will be with honor and in the service of others. (this is not a comment about the war but about service to your country) Had he not joined I have no doubt that he would have a lifetime of drug abuse and crime that would end with him in jail or dead on the streets. That is not an exaggeration.

As I said I was pleased to hear he had broken away and was doing something with his life. Well we just learned after being in the army for just six months he has met a girl, married her (he's known her for two months) and they are expecting a child. He will be deployed to Iraq, in June, for eighteen months. I can't help but feel his lack of guidance has cost him another shot at a good future. Now the odds are stacked against him again.

So I'm going to be a great uncle, whoopee, I get to watch another child grow up with out a chance in hell. Damn it!

The gray will stay, next time

My hair has started turning gray. A fact my wife never misses a chance to point out. She is always bugging me to do something about it. The other day she bought some stuff you kind of shampoo in and rinse out. The gray should be gone.

After thinking about it for a few days I agreed to use the stuff. I mean really, what do I care? She has to look at it not me, right? Well she may have to look at it but I have to live with it.

By now you have probably guessed it didn't go well. Even though I only left it in half the time it said to, two and a half minutes, it still turned it too dark. What was worse by the next day it seemed to be getting darker.

I was really surprised at my reaction to it as well. I'm the type person who really doesn't care if my hair is sticking straight up or plastered to my head. Gray or gone, hey that's life, it's still me. But I was dreading going to work. I think I was having a problem because it was so obvious that I had tried to alter my appearance. That people would think my gray hair had bothered me so much that I couldn't live with it. I even considered wearing a hat. That of course would draw more attention and right to the area I was hoping nobody would notice. No hat.

At work only a few people commented on how dark my hair was but it was obvious when talking with people they were looking at my hair and not my eyes. Come on people it's just hair not boobs. Needless to say I was very self conscious about it. Then around closing time I remembered I was going to the gym that night.

OMG! I'm still having the whole Matt Hughes problem going on. Only now it has become six fold. Yes, there are at least six guys calling me Matt, with the first one still yelling it from across the gym. My mind quickly painted a picture of me walking in the gym and the screamer, yelling across the gym "hey it's Matt Hughes and he dyed his hair." Followed by a lot of laughter of course. Thank God that didn't happen. I did wear the hat to the gym. An admitted defeat that my appearance does matter to me more than I thought.

I figured at the gym nobody would notice me wearing a hat, everybody does every now and then. What I hadn't thought through was the hat I wore was a college hat that people either love or hate. So all night people were walking over to me to talk about my hat, that was on my head, that was suppose to be covering hair, so I wouldn't draw attention to myself. Great plan huh? I managed to get through the work out with no comments on my hair but a zillion close calls (in my sick mind that is).

When I got home I asked my wife how long my hair would be like this. With a big ass smile she said "as much as you wash it not long, about six weeks." One things for sure, I have to get a new hat.

Life's important conversations

So I'm riding with the wife to the grocery store when a song comes on the radio. My wife reaches for the radio to change it.

I say "wait that's Neil Diamond."

She says "I know who it is, I hate his stuff."

What? How can you hate Neil Diamond?

Well I do, this is terrible

Neil Diamond? everybody likes Neil Diamond

I don't

and with that she changed the channel.

You think you know somebody then you find out they don't like Neil Diamond. It's like I'm living with a perfect stranger.

Oh, and P.S. I wear an extra large t-shirt. Not large, I haven't worn large in 15 years. So unless you're buying t-shirts for you and just saying they're for me it's extra large. Like always. Just thought you would want to know. Thanks.

A Springtime Thought

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.



Robert Frost page

Why must everything get old? Why can't innocence last longer? Why can't things stay exciting? It really does make me sad.

Pugly? Not to me :)

This post is for Jen who wants a dog, well not just any dog but a great dog, a pug.


My Dad had a business partner in who lived in West Virgina. Our family went up there to visit him and his wife one summer, when I was about 10 years old. I don't remember much about the people, the state or what we did but what I do remember was their dog. He was a very adorable, smart and energetic pug. His name was Mr. Bojangles.


From the moment we arrived the dog had our totally undivided attention with his personality and clever tricks. So much so that my brother, sister and myself cried when it was time to go because we had grown so attached to him. Even after five years I still felt sorrow when I learned of his death. Many times while looking for a dog I thought of getting a pug but I never did because I knew there would never be another Mr. Bojangles.


I hope you get your pug Jen :) they are great dogs.

Nice and Weak? I don't think so!

Being the type person I am, I have a conscience the size of Texas. To avoid the torture of an over active conscience I have learned to be nice. Nice shouldn't be a bad word but in today's society it is. A lot of people just can't handle someone being nice to them. They take my my niceness as weakness and try to exploit it. The truth is being nice and being weak are so far apart you could place the Grand Canyon in between them and still never touch either one.

When some people come across a nice person they see opportunity and weakness. They see a nice person as a target, a mark. They will push me and try to squeeze everything they can get from me. They think as long as I'm smiling I am unaware of what they're doing.

It's funny to watch these people work their little angles and position themselves for the big payoff. I like to play along to see how far they are willing to take it. Letting them get almost to their goal before I snatch the rug out from under them. Sometimes I just keep agreeing with them but never quite do the thing they want. After they spend hours convincing me to do something they know I should never do I say "oh, I see your point, I'll have it ready by Thursday." Of course when they call Thursday I push it back until Monday and so on. I don't feel bad about wasting their time because I always try, in a nice way, to tell them I won't ever do it. They just won't accept this unless you're a jerk.

The truth is at work I'm whats know as the hammer. When there's a problem that needs to be handled, firmly and directly I get the job. A problem customer, I have to call them. Fire an employee, yep me too. Collecting on an over due account, give me the phone. Once I decide that what I'm doing is correct my conscience can be left at the door. To an employee that knows me this directness usually catches them so off guard that I have very little confrontation and get good results. To a person who doesn't know me this attitude can result in a one sided shouting match, them screaming at me trying to make their point while I stay calm and stand firm. That really pisses them off.

I thought about putting a sign on my door that says "Please don't mistake my niceness for weakness" but that just might ruin the surprise.

Per Lindsay - I figured if you can wear my pants, I can take your survey :-p

Just for the hell of it.

You are a Mild Mama

You don't have to be screaming at the top of your lungs to have a good time You rather chill, soak in the moment, and appreciate life for what it is Guys appreciate your "take life as it comes" approach... (Though they wouldn't mind if you got a little wild from time to time!)

How Daring Are You?

The Gap closes the gap

I was watching TV with the wife last night and a Gap commercial came on. The commercial was about new pants for women.



Me: is this a commercial for men's pants that women want to wear?

The wife: No it's a commercial about woman's pants

Then why is a man wearing the pants

because they're called "The Boyfriend Trouser"

And men don't wear them

No

But women want too?

yes

Because they look like pants men would wear

yes, sort of

Why don't women just buy men's pants if they want to wear them?

Women don't want to wear men's pants, that's silly, these pants are for women

and they're called "the boyfriend trouser"?

yes, because they're cut like men's pants

that makes no sense

you just don't get it

what's not to get, I have pants that women don't want to wear but they want some just like them to wear

Just forget it

I wish I could


I've said it a thousand times, women confuse me.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

This is the week that our little city explodes and becomes a mini Madi Gras celebration. I have lived in and around Savannah, Georgia my whole life and while we claim to be the hostess city to the south we are even more famous for St. Patrick's day. Our city of about 130,000 swells to over 700,000 to put on a huge St. Patrick's day parade and party second only to New York.


I use to love going down town, getting drunk and making a fool out of myself. Since I was 15 years old I always looked forward to the festivities. Everybody down there was there for one reason and that was to have fun. Well the times they are a changin'. Over the past 10 years the crowd has gotten younger and meaner. The thieves and thugs see a golden opportunity with all the drunks around. There were always fights but more the friendly, push a drunk down kind. There was a little flashing of the chest but only at night when the families had long been gone. Not so anymore, now anything and everything goes. People come from all over the world to have a good time but some just come to trash the city and cause problems. A few years ago they even talked about shutting the whole thing down. Of course they can't because when a few 100,000 people show up you better have somewhere they can go and something to do.


At 15 I felt totally comfortable going down there and living it up, unsupervised, but not today. Maybe I just didn't see the dangers then like I do now but it sure seems things are different. I haven't been to River Street (where the party happens) for a few years. The last time I was there the wife and I ended up in the middle of a gang knife fight that ended with a guy being stabbed right next to us, literally.


Now we just take the kids to the parade and leave all the partying to the crazy people. Since the holiday falls on a Saturday this year we will be skipping all of it. The weekend holiday means people can stay longer and drink more and a three day drunk is not a very nice guy or girl.


So if anyone is in Savannah around St. Patrick's day head on down to River Street and get your party on. You'll have plenty of company, as you can see from the picture. I think I'm the 27 guy over from the right on the 87th row, the one with the green shirt. :)

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY EVERYBODY!

Keep on smilin'

Updated

I'm still listening and still smiling. If anybody wants to change a song let me know. I'm really astonished at how much I've enjoyed your picks, most of which I would have never listen to if you wouldn't have mentioned them, so thanks. I made a few changes myself based on previous information.


Jen - Hero of The Day - Metallica (Kept Mad world)


20 Something - Yellow - Coldplay (Kept Like a Star, Blanket)


Daughter - Trust a Try - Janet Jackson (Kept One Step Closer, No More Tears)


Lindsay - How to Save a Life - The Fray (Kept You and Your Hand, Grace Kelly)


Marianita - Ramble On - Led Zeppelin


Harbinger - Witchita Lineman - Glen Campbell (Kept Plush, Vasoline)


Spiller5 -Place your Hands -Reef


David - Down Together - Refreshments

Daughter I'll be waiting for the story :)

Attitude, and a growing hatred for a little red man!

This is the t-shirt I wore this weekend, I think it pretty much says how I was feeling.

I think our cat was feeling the same way. (she's asleep)

On a side note, if you have a two year old, and if you move her from her crib to a real bed for the first time, and if this particular two year old has a Tickle-Me-Elmo-doll that tells her it's time for bed at 8:00 among other things, for the sake of sanity please throw Elmo in some water, under a bus or in a dumpster. At the very least take the damn batteries out of the thing. Apparently they forgot to tell Elmo about day light saving time. We've already lost an hour of sleep thanks to the turning of the clocks, now Elmo has the late night party started. Damn that little red man!

AS IF!

I'm more than irritated. This kind of stuff shouldn't bother me but it really gets under my skin. A topic the wife and I discuss every so often is who would raise our children if something should happen to us. We have been over the list many times and there really isn't any good options. In the end we decided on my sister because she would love them and provide for them even if she wouldn't be there emotionally for them.


Well yesterday the wife was talking to her sister when her sister told her if something happened to us she would take the kids. Let me just say this will never happen. The reason plain and simple, she thinks her family is better than my family. She has a one year old son that she has only let around my children twice. She came to our last two birthday parties without her son claiming there would be to many kids and to many germs. WTF?


She is a registered nurse that was always going to marry a doctor and she did. She lives in a gated community in a big house. She doesn't work, she has a nanny to help with her child and she spends most of her days at the gym or at the spa. All I can say is we knew her when and she has not always been so high class.


The fact that we have never asked her or her husband for anything including medical advice about us or our children, their nieces and nephews, doesn't seem to earn their respect. The fact that she calls us about parenting questions all the time doesn't earn it either. We have also loaned her money and loaned them a lot of furniture that is in their nice big house. For the life of me I can't understand why she would feel like her family is better than mine but it pisses me off.


Of course the wife was to nice to tell her we wouldn't take her up on her offer but she didn't hesitate to tell the wife she was planning on letting a doctor friend of theirs take care of her child should they die. What does that say? That she's good enough to raise my kids but we aren't responsible enough to raise hers? Bullshit!

Lime green is on the scene!

Many of you may have read on 20 Somethings blog that she just purchased a house. It's not her first house but it is the first one she plans to live in, as far as I know. She's going to be the Donald Trump of England if she keeps this up, hurray for her.

Why am I mentioning this on my blog? Well I'm happy for her for starters but the real reason is to poke a little fun at her. Before she bought her house she was making fun of lime green rooms. I informed her that I in fact have a room with lime green walls and purple trim if you want the whole story. As fate would have it her just purchased house has a lime green bathroom. HA! (which she is going to paint )

Anyway, I told her I would post some pictures of my green room so she could see how beautiful mine looks (actually it's just the kids playroom) So here it is.

Some Quick Thoughts About God and Religion

My thoughts on religion, more than most want to know.


Let me start by saying that I was raised Jewish. No, I don't look Jewish because I was adopted at birth. I was brought up around Christian neighbors who were mostly Baptist, but there were some Methodist, and Catholics. My mother was Lutheran before she converted to Judaism. I attended a Christian day school for three years and a Jewish day school for four years and a Catholic military high school for four years. My high school was highly tolerant of other religions so we were taught about Mormonism and Islam, as a study.


My point is I have been exposed to a lot of religions and have had the opportunity to study them and observe people practicing them. All which qualifies me for nothing.


I believe in a God. One God who created everything. I find it hard to believe that the right organisms just happened to be on a planet with water, the right gases, and the exact distance needed from a sun that happens to be the exact temperature needed to sustain life. I'm sure someone good at math could explain that the odds are good that this could happen by chance considering the billions of planets and billions of years this has all been around but I'm not buying it. It all had to start somehow and until we know my theory is as good as any other.


I believe that God exist at a level that we will never understand. That our knowledge of the universe and everything in it barely scratches the surface of his creation.

I believe that all the major religions worship the same God. That God probably enjoys being worshiped in more than one way. Why can't we believe he likes variety? We do. In other words most religions could be right.


I believe that people won't be punished because they are not born into the "right" religion. What chance does a child born in North Korea have to find Christ? Would God really send him to hell because of where he was born? I hope not, that would make no sense.

I believe in evolution and creation. If we can plant a seed knowing it will become an apple tree certainly God could create an atom knowing what it become in a billion years. I do not know if God is involved in our everyday life or if he just set it all in motion knowing the outcome.

I believe God has given us free will and a moral code to guide us. That leading a moral life is all that is required of us.

I believe that people read to much into man made ideas and interpretations. These people hijack religion and direct it in a way that could only serve themselves or they become so fanatical that they lose the original concept of their beliefs.

Things I find odd about religion;

That God stopped talking to people about 2,000 years ago

That God had man write the old testament then had man write a new book that almost contradicts everything in the first book.

That great buildings are built to honor God while most religions preach he cares nothing about wealth.

That most people feel they were lucky enough to be born into the right religion. Honestly believing they are one of the chosen for no other reason than being born.

I could go on and on but I think you get the idea of what I believe. Now if someone could please explain it to me.

Clarification, Frustration, and Damnation

This should be the last post about my departed uncle. Please don't think I'm looking for sympathy because as I've said I was not close with him, I have shed no tears. I have, however, been able to observe a lot of events that has given me much to think about.

My sister came in from Atlanta to attend the funeral. I finally had some alone time with her to ask about the divorce. She told me they had decided to live apart for a year before they filed. Giving it some time and thought was all I ever asked. She finally understood I wasn't against the divorce just against doing it without thinking or trying. Clarification.

I may have mentioned this before but in my family I'm the glue. In other words if you have a problem with someone in our family you don't go to that person you come to me. I wish it wasn't like that because it puts me in places I 'ought not be' but sadly it is. After my brother left the funeral my sister confided in me that she feels very little for him. I knew immediately why but hesitated to get into it with her. Knowing I wouldn't see her again for a while I bit. It seems that she has not forgiven my brother for a slight that happened seven years ago. Yes, it was a big one but I explained to her that she has to leave a little room for forgiveness in every situation. I tired to explain she didn't know everything that was going on with my brother at the time. She said she would never forgive him. Frustration.

My uncle, as far as I know, wasn't an overly religious man. His family, well I should say his daughter is. I even have the unfortunate knowledge of knowing why her faith has to be so strong. I have no problem with people of faith as I feel no one has proof either way, so why not?

Apparently the family asked the preacher at the service to talk a little about my uncle and a lot about Jesus. I really don't agree with funerals like this as this is the last time everyone will be together to honor this person but it's their funeral and I can accept that they wanted it this way. What I can't respect is the fact that the preacher took the opportunity to tell everyone that if you didn't believe and accept Christ you were going to hell. He actually said "The road to heaven is a one lane road driven by people who believe in Christ, everyone else is on the super highway to hell."

I think it's very inappropriate to insult people gathered to pay their last respects to someone. My uncle's family certainly knew that the were many different religions represented at the service. We were there to comfort not be converted. We were there to help raise their spirits not have ours put down.

"Hey, thanks for coming to pay your last respects and by the way you know you're going straight to hell, right?" Damnation!

Per Lindsay

Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss"

You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship. You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you Your flirting style: friendly and sweet What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Ah....yeah... I don't think so

Spirits Lifted

It's been a strange week. My uncle died on Wednesday morning, all three of my children have the flu but work has been going well. The combination of events and a few other happenings have had me riding the old emotional roll-a-coaster.

Tonight I had to go to my uncles viewing. I knew when I got there it would be sad and I would have to come up with something to say to express my sympathy to the family. I dreaded it for most of the day.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I arrived. The place was packed. The whole community was there. I have never seen so many people show up for a viewing. Some very well off and influential people were there to pay their respects. I had to stand in a long line just to see my aunt and my cousins. They all seemed in good spirits which I can only attribute to the high turn out. A few hugs from me was enough to convey my sorrow.

As I left I stopped to think about my uncle and his family. He was a quiet, humble, hard working man. He earned every dollar he had through hard work, mostly manual labor. He lived in this area his whole life. He raised successful, hard working children that are pillars of our community. It was obvious he had the respect of everyone who knew him.

Some people use the amount of possessions and wealth someone has attained as a measure of their success when they die. Others judge a persons worth by how many life experiences they've had. Tonight I saw a better way to evaluate ones life and my uncle certainly has set the bar high. Until tonight I hadn't realize that he was one of the richest people I have ever had the pleasure to know.

A pat on the back

Today has been one of those days.


I am a salesman and today I was a good one, no a great one!


Today was a day a salesman dreams about. A day when all my efforts were transformed into results. A day when I had to use two offices to handle my customer load and still had to close another deal in the lobby while another customer waited on the phone to buy something else. Today all the stars aligned and I could do no wrong. Today I earned my keep.


Tomorrow who knows but today, ah today....