Clarification, Frustration, and Damnation
This should be the last post about my departed uncle. Please don't think I'm looking for sympathy because as I've said I was not close with him, I have shed no tears. I have, however, been able to observe a lot of events that has given me much to think about.
My sister came in from Atlanta to attend the funeral. I finally had some alone time with her to ask about the divorce. She told me they had decided to live apart for a year before they filed. Giving it some time and thought was all I ever asked. She finally understood I wasn't against the divorce just against doing it without thinking or trying. Clarification.
I may have mentioned this before but in my family I'm the glue. In other words if you have a problem with someone in our family you don't go to that person you come to me. I wish it wasn't like that because it puts me in places I 'ought not be' but sadly it is. After my brother left the funeral my sister confided in me that she feels very little for him. I knew immediately why but hesitated to get into it with her. Knowing I wouldn't see her again for a while I bit. It seems that she has not forgiven my brother for a slight that happened seven years ago. Yes, it was a big one but I explained to her that she has to leave a little room for forgiveness in every situation. I tired to explain she didn't know everything that was going on with my brother at the time. She said she would never forgive him. Frustration.
My uncle, as far as I know, wasn't an overly religious man. His family, well I should say his daughter is. I even have the unfortunate knowledge of knowing why her faith has to be so strong. I have no problem with people of faith as I feel no one has proof either way, so why not?
Apparently the family asked the preacher at the service to talk a little about my uncle and a lot about Jesus. I really don't agree with funerals like this as this is the last time everyone will be together to honor this person but it's their funeral and I can accept that they wanted it this way. What I can't respect is the fact that the preacher took the opportunity to tell everyone that if you didn't believe and accept Christ you were going to hell. He actually said "The road to heaven is a one lane road driven by people who believe in Christ, everyone else is on the super highway to hell."
I think it's very inappropriate to insult people gathered to pay their last respects to someone. My uncle's family certainly knew that the were many different religions represented at the service. We were there to comfort not be converted. We were there to help raise their spirits not have ours put down.
14 comments:
Families do have a lot of undercurrents flowing around don't they. I'll bet you are a strong glue, but I know what you mean by you wishing it wasn't that way.I have pushed away religion for the, 'you are in or you are out,' aspect. I think religion is very divisional, ironic when it is supposed to unite peoples.
Always seemed wrong to me that you could be a mass murdering lunatic,
but if you accept the lord a minute before you die you go to heaven.
Too bad for the great people that are good their whole lives, going straight to hell.
I used to be afraid to NOT believe
in a greater being. Now Iam at ease
with my thoughts of the greater power, and you can look right at it,
it's all around us.
Like you I have no problem with people of faith, I know there are people that really need it, and it's good for them.
I have been to funerals where I thought it strange that the service
didn't reflect the life of the deceased, like the funeral got hijacked somewhere along the way.
( not that your uncle's did, I'm just thinking.)
I do think it totally wrong that the preacher said those things about going to hell, I guess,"when you got the crowd, you gotta get it out there.'
He actually said that at a funeral? Sod that - I think my family and girlf know my wishes, if Im honest I dont even think I'd want a priest doing the ceremony I would prefer if all my friends just said one line about me one by one and they all have to be dressed in rainbow colours!
Familys are a weird thing though, like Lins brother still hasnt forgiven her for being an out of control teenager and now it has gone full circle and he is the one who is a twat as opposed to Teenage Lin. Its what happens unfortunatly as you can choose your friends but you cant choose your family.
Yeha i hate that shit - sorry excuse my french.
The funeral is supposed to be for remembering the person who we will never get a chance to speak to or see or share a joke with ever again? is that really the right time to be preaching about god?! If god did exist, do you think he / she would approve?
I went to a funeral of a friend two years ago, she died when she was 40, she left a son of 16 and a heartbroken fiance. The community was gutted, the priest said he'd never seen so many people at a funeral, it didn't stop him preaching though ... twit. - sorry.
I can not believe he said that at a funeral how inappropriate? I do believe in God , but the God I believe in is very different to that of Christians, I don't believe any God would say "if you do not worship me then you are going to hell" It is nonsensical.
I would like to think that God is reflected in some humans on earth, the humans that are not selfish but good natured. It's like saying "If you do not worship me then I am not going to be your friend".
This is why I won't ever assign myself to any religion accept my own because most of it is bollox . Most religions will have snippets of things that add up and can be accepted as common sense but too often they go overboard, to the extent that they are obsessive and 100% unnecessary - I'm sorry you had to experience that at a funeral - I totally agree with you - it should be about paying respects and saying a final farewell without the interruption of someone else’s beliefs that don’t even make the tiniest bit of sense. Despite whether it is a vicar it still don’t make sense!
It's 8:25 in the morning and I have to get some sleep before I fall over, so I haven't actually read this post yet. But I will when I wake up later.
I read a couple of lines and remembered the best funeral EVER. But again, you'll have to wait till I get up. I just wanted to get you interested, so I could build the suspense.
Am I rambling? I'm a little sle...e...p...y.
ZzzZZzzzzZZzz
:)
That's suppose to say "The Best Funeral STORY Ever!!!"
HAHAHAHA
HB: Being the glue leads to a lot of sticky situations. Some times people forget that you weren't involved in the original problem.
I do think the funeral was hijacked by the preacher but apparently with the family's blessing.
Spiller: He said that and much more. I almost got up and walked out. Families are funny because we get so close to each other we assume (is that right Daughter) that they will be looking out for our needs and it can be devastating when they fail us.
20 Something: French is ok to speak here :)
Preaching about God at a funeral is fine with me. If you think the person is going to heaven there is a lot of comfort believing the person is in a better place. I just don't know why they have to try to convert you. I guess it's good for business.
Lindsay: I also have a different view on religion. One day I'll post about it but I will tell you I believe in God I just don't think man is smart enough to have figured him out.
Jen: Go to bed you night owl :) I'll look forward to hearing about the best funeral ever. You got me interested it worked.
just one question? whats the difference between a vicar and a priest?
I never heard it before, I had to look it up. I'm sure Lindsay will know. *shrug*
In the broadest sense, a vicar (from the Latin vicarius) is anyone acting "in the person of" or agent for a superior (compare "vicarious"). In this sense, the title is comparable to lieutenant. Usually the title appears in a number of Christian ecclesiastical contexts, but in the Holy Roman Empire a local representative of the emperor, perhaps an archduke, might be styled "vicar". "Representative" is the best definition of this word.
What an interesting post!!
Strange to have such preachings at a funeral service, no matter what religion was being represented at the time: the cleric was certainly inappropriate and may be ready for retirement if such things have crept into his remembrance speeches!!
He was about my age so I don't think he'll be retiring anytime soon. I found it strange that he was not the family's priest nor had he met my uncle or the family before that day. Even worse he got the name of my uncles children wrong.
RAW THOUHGTS: Post your beliefs on God, I think our beliefs could be simular.
Check out my blog.
I think you are right! There is a world far beyond our knowledge that is above our intelligence - this is a test if you like?
I feel as if we are in a test zone.
There! that's better. I really don't go for that superstition stuff, but that number bothers me.
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