Nice and Weak? I don't think so!
Being the type person I am, I have a conscience the size of Texas. To avoid the torture of an over active conscience I have learned to be nice. Nice shouldn't be a bad word but in today's society it is. A lot of people just can't handle someone being nice to them. They take my my niceness as weakness and try to exploit it. The truth is being nice and being weak are so far apart you could place the Grand Canyon in between them and still never touch either one.
When some people come across a nice person they see opportunity and weakness. They see a nice person as a target, a mark. They will push me and try to squeeze everything they can get from me. They think as long as I'm smiling I am unaware of what they're doing.
It's funny to watch these people work their little angles and position themselves for the big payoff. I like to play along to see how far they are willing to take it. Letting them get almost to their goal before I snatch the rug out from under them. Sometimes I just keep agreeing with them but never quite do the thing they want. After they spend hours convincing me to do something they know I should never do I say "oh, I see your point, I'll have it ready by Thursday." Of course when they call Thursday I push it back until Monday and so on. I don't feel bad about wasting their time because I always try, in a nice way, to tell them I won't ever do it. They just won't accept this unless you're a jerk.
The truth is at work I'm whats know as the hammer. When there's a problem that needs to be handled, firmly and directly I get the job. A problem customer, I have to call them. Fire an employee, yep me too. Collecting on an over due account, give me the phone. Once I decide that what I'm doing is correct my conscience can be left at the door. To an employee that knows me this directness usually catches them so off guard that I have very little confrontation and get good results. To a person who doesn't know me this attitude can result in a one sided shouting match, them screaming at me trying to make their point while I stay calm and stand firm. That really pisses them off.
I thought about putting a sign on my door that says "Please don't mistake my niceness for weakness" but that just might ruin the surprise.
When some people come across a nice person they see opportunity and weakness. They see a nice person as a target, a mark. They will push me and try to squeeze everything they can get from me. They think as long as I'm smiling I am unaware of what they're doing.
It's funny to watch these people work their little angles and position themselves for the big payoff. I like to play along to see how far they are willing to take it. Letting them get almost to their goal before I snatch the rug out from under them. Sometimes I just keep agreeing with them but never quite do the thing they want. After they spend hours convincing me to do something they know I should never do I say "oh, I see your point, I'll have it ready by Thursday." Of course when they call Thursday I push it back until Monday and so on. I don't feel bad about wasting their time because I always try, in a nice way, to tell them I won't ever do it. They just won't accept this unless you're a jerk.
The truth is at work I'm whats know as the hammer. When there's a problem that needs to be handled, firmly and directly I get the job. A problem customer, I have to call them. Fire an employee, yep me too. Collecting on an over due account, give me the phone. Once I decide that what I'm doing is correct my conscience can be left at the door. To an employee that knows me this directness usually catches them so off guard that I have very little confrontation and get good results. To a person who doesn't know me this attitude can result in a one sided shouting match, them screaming at me trying to make their point while I stay calm and stand firm. That really pisses them off.
I thought about putting a sign on my door that says "Please don't mistake my niceness for weakness" but that just might ruin the surprise.
9 comments:
Yes I totally agree with you. I wish people understood the difference. Where I live, so many people I meet are nasty and all for themselves. Mostly this is down to greed, ignorance or arrogance.
I have been on work experience again this week and the editor there was lovely! SO nice it was a lovely surprise - too often journalists are arrogant.
But this guy was really laid back - although he was "naturally nice" I didn't for a second think of him as being weak and I had all due respect for him!
Overall I think people believe they can take advantage of people that are genuine and nice - it's a case of being firm with it!
Yes I have seen that, when I wasn't such a bastard people tried the move on me. I wised up.
I actually have a shirt that says on the back, "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness".
I think posting the sign would definitely ruin the surprise. Best to get the upper hand on people who are going to try to twist you to fit their needs.
Of course, I feel that way because I'm not very nice.
;)
Tuesday a guy called selling something. I get these calls all the time. I don't get ugly because these people are just doing their job. The guy ask for an appointment for Wednesday. I told him I had meetings and can't but he can leave some information with the receptionist if he wants to. Apparently he couldn't handle me being nice about it. When he came the next day he had an associate with him. I was in my office and heard him say "Is David in I have an appointment with him today?" WTF? Before the receptionist could get rid of him I walked up there and shook the guys hand. He started to give me his sales pitch but before he could I cut him off. I took the packet and said "nice meeting you, good bye." I turned my back on him and walked off. People just don't listen.
Lindsay: your right about being firm but it's just not how I want to be.
HB: I need that shirt. haha
Jen:You are nice, so just shut it up :) (and I mean that in the nicest way) :p
*laugh*
You're so cute sometimes!
:-P
I'm thinking that your day must have been very interesting to prompt you to write this.
So, I'll just give you your hug now instead of asking if you need one....
{{{{{RT}}}}}}
:-)
A
Jen: at least you didn't say I was nice. ;)
Daughter: thanks for the hug, unfortunately this is my everyday. You get use to it. I know you know what I mean.
No, but I thought about it. I was trying to be nice.
:-P
Theres nothing wrong in being nice. Let people think they're taking advantage. You know the truth. :)
Your conscience is clear.
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