Charmed, I'm sure
The above picture scares me. I know to the average eye it doesn't look like anything is wrong. You could look at it for days and never find the problem but it's there and it's a big one.
See the kid on the far left? Yeah the cute one, that's my son. You may also notice that the coach is standing behind him with his hands on him. Now look to the right, see the cute little girl trying to get closer to the coach? That's his daughter, but he has chosen to stand behind my son. That's the problem, my son is a charmer.
This picture could be an example of every situation my son has been in. He's a charmer and he's damn good at it. He pulls people in with his outgoing personality and charisma until they let him get away with anything. Our coach was awesome this year and he really pushed the kids to do their best. He taught them discipline and work ethic but by the end of the year he was letting my son get away with being lazy and putting forth half efforts. The coach's wife made a point to come over to me during a game and tell me how much the coach liked my son and after every practice he would come home and tell her all the funny things my son had said and did. I agreed that he was a good kid but I was thinking "he pulled it off again".
(he has fake teeth in that the coach just gave him)
Later when trophies were handed out the coach spent a lot of time laughing it up with my son even though he was far from the best player or hardest worker on the team. I was a little embarrassed to see him get so much attention knowing he wasn't as passionate or as dedicated as some of the other kids.
This may seem like no big deal but it is. I was the same way growing up, except replace the outgoing personality with shyness and good manners. When I was in school the teachers let me slide on some very important lessons because they liked me and I didn't give them any trouble. Later in my school life, when teachers had to many students to get to know me, all the lessons I was allowed to get by with out really knowing came back to haunt me. People missed some very important signs about me because of my personality. Things that if caught early enough would have made things easier later.
I have tried telling his teachers to stay on him but they all smile and say how adorable he is and how pleasant it is to have him as a student. I don't want my son to get by on his charm. He needs all the tools it takes to get through life. He needs to be held to a high standard. Only then can we determine what direction he needs to be pointed in and what areas he needs help with.
5 comments:
:)
I wouldn't worry too much, you can't change his personality or go and tell everyone he meets not to be taken in too much by his charms. He'll probably end up in a job where the charm works to his benefit :)
Interesting post RT.
I too got by on my sweet charm, and paid for it later in life. I imagine it's a difficult thing to watch happening to your kid knowing that you probably won't be able to explain the situation sufficiently enough to prevent history from repeating itself.
I don't have any helpful tips, or advice. It's cool that you noticed it though. As a parent you'll be less likely to let stuff slide, and that's important too!
You're a good Dad!!
And he's a gorgeous kid. I could tell which one was yours before I even read the post. He has such great hair... Look, charming me over the internet!?
;)
20 Something: :) His charm is getting him in a lot of trouble at home. He thinks he can talk his way out of anything. I spend lots of time listening to him plead his case. Then when he realizes it's not working he simply tries a new direction.
We encourage his out going personality because it's definitely a plus but it shouldn't be a substitute for hard work.
Jen: Thanks! I'm going to post on how it affected me next. Things may be different these days and he's not me but we have our eye on the situation.
The boy loves his hair. He always wants to go get it cut and styled. Maybe he's not my kid?! :o I have fine, straight hair and the wife has thick, curl hair so we think he got a good mix :) My poor daughter has my hair, no body at all :(
There are worse personality traits to have :) you can't change him. You can try but the reaction he gets from people will make it very difficult for him to stop being charming :)
Could you persuade a shy child to be less shy?
I agree with you 100% and I love the fact that he's not shy like I was and I wouldn't change him for the world but there is a time to get down to work and nobody is making him do that.
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