For the kids? Please!
If I didn't mention it, the wife volunteered me to help with my sons eight and under soccer games. Yes, soccer, no slight intended for calling it that, I'm just watching too much American football to keep it straight.
Apparently our team's coach had asked for help and no one stepped up. Which is kind of strange because I see the same guys at all the games and practices. Especially this one guy who is doing everything the coach wants me to do but just won't say he wants to help. Creepy.
So after helping with the first game I showed up for practice for the first time this year. Not because I plan to help with practice but because I was off work and could. I made it clear to the coach that it won't happen often. I know she heard me say it but I know she wasn't hearing it either, if you know what I mean. So at this practice this particular dad is there helping but the coach keeps asking me to do stuff. This other dad is clearly feeling pushed out by me but he refuses to step up.
I thought I would defuse the situation and introduce myself so I could tell him I didn't want the job but I got the cold shoulder. Then I noticed he was being a little hard on his girl. I approached him again with the intent of telling him some kids, like mine, were older and his girl was doing fine if she was a younger player. The problem was I don't know how old his daughter is.
Me: Do you know how old the kids are on our team?
Creepy want to be coach guy: It's an under eight league, so they're all under eight.
yeeeah, I mean how old is each kid?
I don't know.
Well my son is seven
oh
Since he wasn't going with the plan I tried again.
My son is seven and this is his fourth time playing.
ok
Then he walked off. So I came off like I was a big bragger. OH, MY SON IS OLDER AND HAS MUCH MORE EXPERIENCE THAN YOUR CHILD. Sheesh! Totally not my intention.
So Friday night was game night. When we arrived a bunch of young men had taken the the small nets from our field and moved them a few hundred yards to play a pick-up game. The coach of the other team and our coach didn't know what to do. WTF? As I've said I'm a shy, quiet type around groups but both coaches seemed to be assertive. The opposing coach suggested using the big nets near the field. I couldn't believe my ears. These kids could kick with their eyes closed and make it in the big nets. We have no goalies.
So I told the coaches I would get the nets. They sent to people with me to help carry them back. These guys followed behind me, way behind me, over to where the young men were playing. As I approached the first net I stopped their game and told them we needed our nets. They didn't like it and I heard a few mumbles under their breath but they started walking off. I started to get the far net and turned to see who was going to help when I saw that the two guys with me had made a quick grab of the close net and hauled ass. Leaving me to carry a net across three soccer fields. I was less than thrilled about the way it all went down.
Then the game starts. I'm on the field to help the kids stay in position and help with throw-ins. It doesn't take but a minute to see the other coach has taken charge. I didn't care. Then I noticed he didn't know the rules. Worse, he was telling our kids to do things that were clearly wrong. Like kicking the ball in instead of throwing it. Our kids were so confused by this they gave up two quick goals. I asked our coach WTF? She agreed the guy was screwing up the game. Soooo, SHE DID NOTHING! She let him continue to make up rules and teach them to our kids.
Finally I stepped in, some what. After their coach would tell our kids something I would go behind him and tell the kids the right way. This very much irritated the opposing coach because as the game went on it became clear he was doing things to hurt our team. On goal kicks he would grab our best forward to kick the ball and tell our only defensive player to run to the other side of the field. Of course this would place two of the four kids on our team way out of position. Until I started going behind him and stopping it, they scored three goals. Also, when one of our kids attempted to clear a ball from in front of our net, he kicked it into the opposing coaches feet. The ball bounced back in front of our goal. I expected the coach to stop play but instead he directed his kids to kick it in our goal, then cheered and high fived them after they did. Our coach, SAID NOTHING!
So our kids got their asses beat and they didn't have to. Our coach also let the kids play any position they asked for. I had suggested that she move our stronger players to a defensive position to stop the slaughter but instead she put in kids who are literally scared of the ball. Some actually ran the opposite direction to avoid the ball. Leaving the goal wide open.
So now I don't want to help coach anymore. Not because we didn't win or because my advise wasn't listened to, but because our kids are the ones who will suffer from lack of direction. Soon the parents will question why their kids aren't improving and I want no part of that.
I wish I knew what went though people's minds. Why would their coach not know basic soccer rules if he's coaching? Why would their coach want to cheat little children? Why would their parents cheer when he did? Why did our coach let it happen? Why does that creepy guy keep giving me dirty looks? Why do I get myself into these things? Grrr!
17 comments:
I'm ROFLMFAO because I feel ya, brother.
:-)
Sitting in the stands just being Jaonna Parent and telling the kids the right way to do things from there worked for me... maybe it will for you, too??
you need a good referee. Oh and your sport is called "American" football. Soccer is put simply football.
Football is so ingrained in Irish and Uk culture, that almost everyone knows the rules, with the exception of a lot of women, who just don't get the offside rule.
' Some actually ran the opposite direction to avoid the ball' LOL!
I really don't know what to say :)
OI! DARREN! I KNOW THE OFFSiDE RULE! how rude. pfffttt.
"So now I don't want to help coach anymore. Not because we didn't win or because my advise wasn't listened to, but because our kids are the ones who will suffer from lack of direction."
I wouldn't want to help out anymore either! You have every right to stick up for your kid but run the other way in every other area. I admire you for trying.
It all sucks in the long run though since those kids are gonna suffer no matter what. If you quit, they won't have you to tell them what's really going on, and if you stay the coaches are still going to react poorly with the kids.
Talk about a rock and a hard place!
I say, run! Run fast, and far.
I'll hide you.
;)
Daughter: I knew you would understand. I wanted to be "Joe Parent" from the sidelines but the wife literally volunteered me and our coach wants me to do it. It would be strange now if I declined to help and then phoned it in from the sidelines. My only hope is that creepy want to be coach steps in.
Darren: :) We never call it American football. It's either pro football or college football. Most Americans do not equate football with soccer, at all :(
Most people get the basics rules but this coach had no idea. At this age we have no referee, no goalies and we don't keep score. It's about teaching the kids the basics.
I'll distance myself from the "what women know" comment :D
20 Something: Yes, they are the sweetest little girls in the world but when a swarm of opposing players are coming at them they get out of the way.
You don't have to say anything, just laugh for me or at me because it's too stupid to cry about.
Jen: Funny, my son is having the worst of it. I almost took him out the game for pushing a teammate down to get a ball and he was the fastest to adjust to the opposing coaches fantasy rules. I really need to be focused on him but I'm stuck with "the team".
I may take you up on your offer to hide me. I am going to practice Wednesday and if things don't change I'm heading for the hills :)
Sorry 20 something, It was a general comment. I am aware of the select few that actually understand.
I don't get why you would teach the kids half the game, ie not have goal keepers or a referee. Over here even at that age we get the ref, and goalies involved.
I wonder if printing this out, and giving it around to the other coarches, might help? :D http://www.fifa.com/mm/document/affederation/federation/laws%5fof%5fthe%5fgame%5f0708%5f10565.pdf
hang on? no goalies? How on earth would that work?
The no goal keeper thing bites. The kids know there should be one. Every team keeps one kid back *wink, wink* but we can't let them stand in the goal box. That's why it's so important for the kid that's back to be good.
The coaches ref the games. In the game last week the other coach made all the calls and our coach let him. She kept rolling her eyes at me when he did it wrong. It was really pissing me off.
At first I thought that the rules had been modified for our age group but our coach didn't know the kids could kick the ball in from the side or that all kicks were corner kicks, or just drop the ball anywhere on the damn field and start. Grrr
As you can see in the picture that ball is past our whole team except the one kid at quarter field. I think just out of camera range the kid was laying on his back looking at the sky. *sigh*
The coaches ref the game? Well thats impartial and wont lead to arguments.
Forget David Beckham, he's not going to succeed where the best players of the 70's and 80's failed. Football needs to be brought to the young, and thought correctly and for them to see how fun and rewarding it can be.
Beckham hasn't really been a great player since leaving Man U anyway. He won all his medals bar one when playing for Man U.
The whole thing is crazy. The kids do keep score, they know.
I just don't see soccer catching on here in a big way. I think it's a good sport and the athletes are some of the best playing anything but it's just not fast paced enough to take over American football, baseball, basketball, golf and hockey. Nascar is getting huge now as well as mixed martial artists with the UFC.
Soccer is not even shown own TV here unless you buy it on pay per view. To be honest I didn't even know who David Beckham was until the wife said he was a soccer player married to a Spice Girl :(
Creepy coach guy! Lol that did make me laugh!
As for referee? You need to speak to Spiller He is a ref! He would be interested to read this!!!
Right then, I feel the most qualified person here, 20 years of playing, 2 seasons coaching and 6 months of reffing under my belt so here goes
Firstly, let me stick up for FOOTBALL, sorry but soccer will never stick with me, it is a fast paced game if its the right game, I dont understand how people can say American football is fast paced when its stop start, stop start 40 substitutions in four hours! Thats crazy.
Secondly, offside law is simple but there is no way you can teach it to kids of 7, let them play the game with no restrictions thats what I say.
Creepy coach guy, give him a FOOTBALL manual, throw ins are overhead not kicked in, thats just dumb.
I tell you what, arrange some accomodation and a flight over and I'll come coach them ;-)
Lindsay: I thought the same thing. I actually thought he would show up on the last post's comments. :)
Spiller: It was actually the coach of the opposing team telling them to kick it in.
No need to stick up for FOOTBALL here. I like it and think it's a good sport. That's why I want my son to play it. I think most sports are good if you take the time to understand the complexities of the game and the effort it takes to play them right.
I was just saying that football doesn't have much of a chance here because you hardly ever see it nationally.
I think American football is considered fast paced because there is so much going on at once and every play could be a score for either team. You should give it a look if you never have.
I tell you what, arrange some accomodation and a flight over and I'll come coach them
If you saw what they were doing to your game you would end up killing someone and I might have to help you :) better if we don't push it. lol
'I think just out of camera range the kid was laying on his back looking at the sky' Why is that so funny? :')
Its so funny cause everyone wants to do it at some point, and everyone has. Forget about everyone else, and just lie on your back, look up at the sky and let the world and time pass you by. It is made all the funnier because it is in such a frantic situation.
"American football, baseball, basketball, golf and hockey. Nascar is getting huge now as well as mixed martial artists with the UFC." - American Football is played much slower than Football. I have watched the odd superbowl. Baseball is slower too. Golf...... in no way quicker. Hockey is much faster. Cant argue there. Nascar, sure you always have the petrol heads. F1 is the European sport though.
UFC has too much grappling for my likings.
Darren is right. It's funny because it was so inappropriate. It wasn't funny because the coach let him do it. That picture was taken at the first game. I had yet to be given to the dark side at that point.
I agree about golf. F1 is not 'red neck' enough for Americans I guess :)
How can American football not be considered fast? All the plays are run at a full sprint. The quarterback has four or five huge guys trying to kill him. The players going out for passes are some of the fastest sprinters in the world. The running backs are big and fast and agile, plus they have to run through a line of monsters out to hurt them. And kick-offs look like trains colliding.
Like I said, the more you know about a sport, the more you can appreciate the difficulty of playing it. The endurance and agility it takes to play soccer makes it's participants some of the fittest and most skilled in the world. I can appreciate that.
Well American football is what 40 mins each way, but it takes about 4 hours to play the game. Yes, when the ball is play it is a frantic melee of activity, and very fast and enjoyable to watch. But then Rugby is like American football but without as many stoppages, and they don't wear that nancy boy protection the Americans wear.
The world cup is on. You should watch the All Blacks in action. What a team!
Post a Comment