It's just a book

A few years ago I was going through a tough time in my life. It was affecting me in many ways which included my marriage. Because I travel for work, listen to the radio, every now and then Dr. Laura would be on. Dr. Laura has a show on the radio where people call in to get help with their problems. She uses a set of strict moral codes to guide her decision making process, because of this most people either love her or hate her.

She also writes books to help people avoid the pitfalls in their life. I had already read "Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships" when I heard her talk about a new book she had just published. At first I really didn't think much of the book as it was written specifically for women. Half the women who called her show admitted they would never read the book because of the title, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." The other half that called in had read the book and claimed it helped their marriage and in some cases saved their marriage.

So down to the local book store I went. They had the book, all be it hidden near the back. The clerk literally rolled her eyes at me when I laid it on the counter. On the way home I felt like I was caring "Satanic Verses" by Salmon Rushdie through the middle of Mecca. I made sure none of the book was visible to any women out of fear that I may be stoned.

After surviving the trip home my next feat would be to get my wife to actually read the book. I knew this would not be an easy task because she loathes Dr. Laura. I started to tell her about the people who had been on the radio and how they raved about the results. She seemed interested right up until the moment I said "Dr. Laura". Her head started moving slowly side to side then I said the title "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and I swear I thought I saw the flames of hell flicker in her eyes.

So with no other option left I read the book. It wasn't the best written thing in the world but it made sense. It basically said that women have most of the power in a relationship if they just understand what a man wants. The thing I like best about the book were the letters from men and women that really hit home and some even mirrored our situation.

So armed with the knowledge that the book was really about the woman having the power in a relationship I approached the wife again and asked her to read the book. I told her she didn't have to accept it or agree with it but just please read it. So reluctantly she agreed to read the 240 page book. After two weeks she hadn't started it. After three weeks she claimed to be to busy. After two months and four romance novels she had made it to page sixty. She never picked it up again. When I asked what the problem was she stated that she had discussed the book (the book she hadn't read) with a few of her friends (who also hadn't read it) and they decided it was garbage. It seems they felt any book that stated a wife owes her husband anything is radical thinking.

Again I tried to explain to her that if she read the book she would have a better understanding of how I feel but she was done with it, end of story. As I said I was going through a lot at the time and her not reading that book caused some resentment. I mean if she had told me there was a book that would give me insight into exactly how she felt I would have bought it as soon as possible and read it all in one day. Wouldn't anyone?

So a few years later I had all but forgotten about the book (almost) and things are good between us. Then out of nowhere the wife tells me she's going to read the book. I'm delighted but I have to admit I'm curious about the change. Why now? Was it because then she felt like I was trying to make her do something and now it's her idea? If that's all it was all she had to do was read the book, because that's in there too.