Merry fn' Christmas

First of all let me start by saying "I'm sorry" to the Spirit of Christmas for calling Chicken Dance Elmo a bastard.

For anyone who came to my blog today expecting a Merry Christmas post don't worry, I have one. I was all set to post it but Christmas Eve was so fn' shitty I thought I would wait in an effort to keep from jinxing Christmas.

It started yesterday. We went to my sister-in-law's house to exchange gifts. It went well except for the blackberry wine, yuck. On the way home the wife mentioned she wasn't feeling well. By night fall she was throwing up, fever, the works. She went to bed early as I made my plans for the next day.

I woke up to the kids playing down stairs. The wife was to ill to get out of bed. I was suppose to leave early to run some errands but I had to scrap those plans as the kids needed to be fed, right? As I made breakfast I noticed the kitchen was a mess and so was the rest of the house. I guess the wife was planning to clean it this morning. Oh well, I can do it. As I cleaned, I started thinking of all the other things the wife hadn't done and my stuff I wasn't getting done. I hate to admit it but I started getting mad at the wife.

She hadn't wrapped most of the gifts, cleaned the house among other things. The more I did the madder I got. Why did she wait to the last minute??? I showed her a bit of attitude too. I still got her what she needed but not with a smile or in a caring way. By lunch she asked my dad to take her to the doctor, I fed the kids lunch.

When she returned home she informed me she had strep throat. It was so severe the doctor suggested she go check herself into the hospital. Her throat was almost swollen shut. So once again I'm the jerk that let my inflexible ass get frustrated that I wasn't able to keep to my list. And of course I apologized, as usual, again.

Then my dad had a gift he wanted me to put together for the kids. You know one of those 10,000 parts item with all the parts marked AA, B7 and such. Oh, and it weighted 200 lbs. Another three hours and my back... gone.

After I made dinner and changed a few diapers it was up stairs to wrap gifts. Not the best thing to do with a wore out back. When I finished I started putting all the presents into their respective piles, then I noticed one last unwrapped gift. You bastard! I sat back down, pulled the wrapping paper back out and went to work. As I sat looking down at Chicken Dance Elmo I felt a little tickle in my throat. Great, looks like the wife gave me an early Christmas gift. Perfect, now that every things already done.


Merry fn' Christmas