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Ok, ok, I can be a fool a plenty but not this time.
My wife's sister, my sister-in-law, is turning 40 this month. She is throwing herself a party. Not just any party but a black tie affair. The wife and I have been asked to go. I declined and yes I have a foot in the dog house again.
I get along fine with my sister-in-law, mostly because we understand each other. I know what she is and she knows who I am. Ninety nine percent of the time we coexist wonderfully. So why not got to the party? A few reasons quickly come to mind.
We are the only people she invited from the wife's side of the family. She didn't deem any of the others worthy enough, not even her parents. All of her husband's family are invited. That in itself would be enough for me not to go. The next problem I have is the whole black tie thing. It's just not me or the wife if her sister thought about it for even a second.
The reason for the black tie is yet another no go for me. I'm pretty sure that everyone invited except me owns their own tuxedo. Maybe that's normal in other parts of the country or parts of the world but it's not normal down south y'all. Down here there are only a few people who own their own tux and these people aren't waiters. No her husband, his father and all their friends are doctors. Which I think is cool and I have a lot of respect for their accomplishment.
If that's the kind of party she wants I say "go for it". But she had to know the wife and I would decline. Especially when she sets the tone by excluding people she deems unworthy. Not to mention the people excluded would be ALL the people we would know. The funny thing is, her sister is upset with us. Amazingly she doesn't see the irony in the situation. Well I do.
7 comments:
To go or not to go that is the question :)
You don't want to go, that's it. It was an invite and you declined it. You don't HAVE to go - whatever your reasons.
Or what you could do it take your recently de-closeted friend? :) Now that would be a fun party :))
I'd go, but I would also invite her to a party you threw, and made sure the party was the complete antithesis of what she would like.
TT: Oh how I wish it were that easy. The wife is getting a lot of pressure from her sister because we would be her only family at the party. I say that's her fault and not our obligation. Not going will be addressed more than a few time at holiday get togethers.
Darren: Ha! you hit part of the problem. We have invited her to ALL of our children's birthday parties. She came to most but didn't bring her child with her. She claimed there would be to many germs there and didn't want to expose him to them. WTF? This is a kid who goes to daycare everyday.
She's just a snob plain and simple. I can deal with it most of the time but not at this level.
I don't really have an opinion on whether or not you should go except that if you feel this way about it now, you'd have a miserable time.
I'm sure in some way that would bring her down, on her birthday.
So, I say don't go.
In the beginning you said that you declined, but in the end it sounds like your wife isn't going either. Is she also declining?
I think it's strange that she doesn't deem the other members of her family "worthy", that's got to feel like a twisty knife in their back.
Definitely a very snobbish way to act... That's only my opinion though.
I wish you the best in not getting both feet in the dog house!
Maybe she actually likes the rest of the family but doesn't like you and your wife - why else would she be subjecting you to 'party'? :)
Stick to your guns, RT. There is no sense in subjecting yourself to something that is so unappealing to you, even for such a momentous occasion.
Perhaps you and your wife can do something private for her sister on another day?
Jen: I can't believe your are blogging from your hospital bed :)
The wife is welcome to go without me. She doesn't want to go either. She is just catching all the heat for the turn down. She would go if I would but now she has me as her excuse not to.
The other members of the family are definitely not 'black tie' type people. The wife and I are comfortable with it. We certainly know what fork to use and when. She is a bit of a social climber and this party just smacks of rubbing elbows with 'the right people' which is fine for her but not our thing, at all. We like people for who they are, not what title they hold.
TT: ha, the real reason she wants us there is because it will look odd for her to have a birthday party for herself and no one from her family shows up. In other words, we will be there for looks.
Daughter: I will :) Her sister might do something with us on the side but she would act as if she was doing us a favor. No thank you. I'll just have to wear my anti-social label for a while longer *sigh*
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