Loose lips whisper "self-destruction"

After the trip to Mexico the wife brought me some more pieces to the puzzle that has become my sister. The wife told me that after a few drinks my sister pulled out a pair of uncharacteristically loose lips. She spilled the beans about some big secret and continued to tell all (at least I hope it's all) for the rest of the vacation.

Taking the new information and combining it with the stuff she's been saying to me I've reached a conclusion. My sister is losing touch with reality. I keep telling myself it's her life, not to judge. I keep reminding myself that she is an adult fully capable of taking care of herself. I keep forcing myself to stay out of her business. It's not easy.

She divorced her husband last year because he deserved better and she wanted to focus on her career. The big secret she let slip to the wife is that she has been involved with her old high school boyfriend for the past six months. They are totally in love , and meant to be together. So much so that she felt compelled to give him an ultimatum at Christmas. Either he leaves his wife, with whom he has three children, or she moves on. She told my wife that they are soul mates and have actually been together longer than us. Well, other than the ten to twelve years they didn't talk and had separate lives. wtf?

The wife told me my sister spent most of the vacation text messaging him and checking her phone for replies. She never called her children once to talk or check on them. wtf?


All of this gives me concern but apparently to justify her actions she has started revising history. Sometimes in ways that I understand but other ways are quite odd. I knew the husband going from saint to bastard was coming. I get that. What I never expected was a revision of our family history. It seems that no one loved her growing up. She had a terrible childhood, she was abused, both mentally and physically. She resents us all for the treatment she received and since she moved away in 1992 none of us even know who she is anymore.

None of it is true, but just to make sure I'm not the one revising things I asked my brother, his memory matches mine, as does both my parents. I can't even begin to express my disappointment with these recent revelations not to mention my confusion about her childhood memories.

I won't tell my family what's going on because it was told to me in confidence. I would rather not start WWIII. Plus if she feels comfortable talking to the wife I don't want to cut off one of the few avenues she has to discuss her situation. She has mentioned a few things to me lately about our childhood but any attempt I made to point out I remembered it differently was met with a ferocious defense of her position.

She needs help. Maybe even professional help but is unwilling to listen to anyone. I feel like all I can do is sit back and watch her self-destruct. It's not easy.