HAPPY BIRTHDAY IRENE!!!!!!!

So I went with the cow card instead.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACOB!!!!!

We love ya big guy!!!

Enjoy the last time in your life that you'll have a single digit for an age.

A rose by any other name?

I'm not big follower of "Miss Anything" pageants, but I did take notice last week when Miss California was asked a question about gay marriage at the Miss USA pageant. When she indicated that she defined marriage between a man and a woman all hell broke loose.

Apparently, no one told her there was only ONE right answer to the question. Which makes me wonder, if there was only one right answer, why ask the question in the first place?

The question was asked by Perez Hilton, a vile, pitiful excuse for a human, who's claim to fame is a popular celebrity gossip blog. I don't even understand why he was there. I assume he only asked the question to have his agenda broadcast on national TV. When Miss California failed to give the response he was looking for to promote his agenda he condemned her. He went as far as calling her a bitch and more on his blog. I guess tolerance and acceptance is only reserved for those who agree with him.

The thing I found funny, in an odd way, is that Miss California never said she was against gays having the same rights as married people at the pageant. She even stated that America was a country where people had the right to choose.

Miss California, Carrie Prejean, said "We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you know what, I think in my country,
in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised."

So why all the fuss? Maybe in the future the contestants should be given a list of acceptable answers to the judges questions. The only problem with that is they might become stereo typed as just pretty faces in high heels with no ability to think for themselves. Now how unattractive would that be?

My Songs #3

Continuing from my previous post, 10 Songs that have helped me define how I feel, how I see myself or how I see the my world over the past few years.

Sympathy - The Goo Goo Dolls

Stranger than your sympathy
And this is my apology
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out


And I've wished for things that I don't need
All I wanted
And what I chase won't set me free
All I wanted
And I get scared but I'm not crawling on my knees


Oh yeah, everything's all wrong, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Where the hell did I think I was?


Stranger than your symapthy
I take these things so I don't feel
I'm killing myself from the inside out
Now my head's been filled with doubt
It's hard to lead the life you choose
All I wanted
When all your luck's run out on you
All I wanted
You can't see when all your dreams are coming true


Oh yeah, it's easy to forget, yeah
You choke on the regrets, yeah
Who the hell did I think I was?


Stranger than your sympathy
All these thoughts you stole from me
I'm not sure where I belong
Nowhere's home and I'm all wrong


And I wasn't all the things
I tried to make believe I was
And I wouldn't be the one to kneel
Before the dreams I wanted
And all the talk and all the lies
Were all the empty things disguised as me
Yeah, stranger than your sympathy
Stranger than your sympathy

What am I missing here?

Last week president Obama released the details of the CIA's terrorist interrogation methods. He condemned the use of "waterboarding" in particular. I have to wonder what limits on interigation the President would agree to if his daughters were kidnapped and a captured terrorist was suspected of knowing where they were being kept.

Since I can only guess at his mind-set in that situation lets look at some facts I don't have to guess at. The same waterboarding interrogation method that the president deems to harsh for terrorist is used on many American pilots as part of their training. Worse, the same president that deems waterboarding torture seems to have no problem ordering airstrikes to kill SUSPECTED terrorist living in Pakistan. Even though these strikes might kill innocent people, including women and children. But hey, at least we didn't have them waterboarded. W... T... F?!

Did Something Change?

After watching the last president being called everything from a liar to Hitler, I'm a little confused at this reporters reaction to these protest.

She points out how OFFENSIVE it is to call the president a fascist. Not only that but she seems to be arguing her OPINION as she is suppose to be reporting on the situation. When did that become part of journalism?

No, no, something is different now... hmmmmm

I love at the end how she tries to paint Fox News as a conservative organization and the cause of the protest. Her OPINION creeping in once again. I guess it's inconceivable for her to think that people would actually be upset at the amount of taxes the government demands from us and then waste. Naaah, that would be ridiculous.

My Songs #4

Continuing from my previous post, 10 Songs that have helped me define how I feel, how I see myself or how I see the my world over the past few years.

More Than Words - Extreme

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things newJust by saying I love you

More than words

Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Some people are so funny.

What's my line?

Two of the reasons for why I came up with my line concept.

Recently The Wife has taken up an interest outside of the family. Since I like her to be happy, and I think everyone needs to have their own thing, I encouraged her pursue this interest. When she needed my help I was glad to do it. As with most new things she went a little overboard. Well, maybe more than a little. I also didn't get this new interest of hers, which isn't a problem because I don't have to, it's her thing. I've also been careful to not be negative about it because it's making her happy.

The time and effort The Wife was putting into this new interest started to become a sore subject with me. Not only did she not have any time for me, the kids were starting to complain too. I think when a five year old notices mom is doing something too much it's a problem. Still, I thought I would give the newness time to wear off. It didn't.

When I decided it was time to address the situation with her, everything I thought to say sounded selfish, except for the part about the kids. "You're not paying me enough attention" is what everything I thought to say ended up sounding like. It also would sound like I was jealous of her new interest, which I wasn't. Worse, I realized that while I was trying to do what I could to make her happy she seemed to care little or nothing about my happiness. I was not a happy camper. I needed to express this in a way she wouldn't get defensive and take it as an attack on her new interest.

That's what the line post was about. That and my best friend. When I explained to her that I felt our relationship had lost it's balance and that she was doing no more in our relationship than a friend would do she seemed to understand. Instead of addressing her new interest I was able demonstrate the problem in away she could see it.

Also, my relationship with my best friend has been on the rocks. It's been bothering me for some time. Now I can see that other areas of his life are more important to him than our friendship. I know that sounds selfish but it's not. I just had to realize no amount of effort on my part will make things the way they once were. I realized it's time to let go and apply my efforts in other directions. My line concept made that obvious.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ETHAN!!!

We love you little fella!

I hope you had a ball today.

Crossing The Line

Over the last few weeks I've been struggling to concentrate on anything other than one subject. Recently I become aware that I'm not totally happy with some of the relationships in my life. More specifically I was feeling that some of them were out of balance. I wanted to address the problem with these people but when I said the problem out loud, to myself, it just sounded petty, and selfish. So I sat there knowing there was a problem, yet I couldn't define it in a way that would help me explain it to them without being dismissed as being selfish. Worse, what if I was just being selfish and petty. I needed to define the problem in terms that would help me understand as well as be able to articulate it to others.

How do we know our relationships are in balance? What separates a relationship with an acquittance from that of a friend? A parent from a wife? A brother from a best friend? What should we expect and what do we owe them. After much contemplation the easiest way for me to understand this was with lines. Each of us draws lines that we are willing, or not willing to cross, for each category. Where those lines are drawn depends a lot on what type person we are, how far we are willing to take things and how strong we feel about someone.

Obviously we are constantly adjusting our lines and moving them. Like wise, we continually shift the people in our lives to one side of these lines or the other. With this concept of lines I really have been able to put the relationships in my life in perspective. Furthermore, these same lines can identify where I need to do some work and where others are not putting forth the same effort as me. They can certainly give me a clear picture of how far I want to go with people or need to go.

With my children the line is clear. There is almost no line I wouldn't cross for them. Their dependence on me makes my responsibility to them very clear. Their lines are short because love is all they can offer at the beginning of their lives. Their lines will grow as they do. But identifying the rest of the lines isn't so easy. Every time we move a line further down we let that person deeper into our lives. The real problem comes when we cross a line another person is not willing to cross for us or doesn't realize they have stopped short of the line. Worse, they may have backed across a line they were once willing to cross.

So now I have a good tool to measure to see where I'm at with the relationships in my life. It might not tell me what the problems are but at least I know there is one. That it's not just me imagining something that's not there. That's a good starting point or at least a good starting line.