All Wet

Busted!

Everyday I watch as the women at our office try to choke down bottle after bottle of water. All in the name of health and fitness. I never thought they were doing anything wrong but I just couldn't be bothered with drinking 8 glasses of water a day.


Well on the way to work today I heard that it has now been proven there is no benefit to this practice. In fact, drinking a lot of water may have the opposite of the intended affect.


The advice given about water intake? If you feel thirsty drink some. Go figure, our body has a built-in mechanism to let us know how much to drink. It's called thirst. Who would have thunk it?


http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89323934

Just doing my duty

It's that time of year again. The time of year when I find green boxes of cookies strategical placed everywhere I'm at. Not just any cookie either, delicious Thin Mints. These are those crispy thin wafer cookies, covered in a thin layer of creamy chocolate with just the right hint of mint. They're not messy and just the right size. Even the way they're packaged attracts me to them. All rolled up nice and neat in sleeves of chocolate delight. Damn they're good!

To say I love them might be going a little too far. After all there are laws against that sort of thing in most states. I know they are bad for me, still I can't resist them. Even if I did have the will power to deny myself their sweet tooth killing satisfaction, where I come from you have to eat them. I'm serious, you have to.

They are sold by Girl Scouts which is enough to guilt you into buying them by the truck load. Worse than that I grew up in and still live near Savannah, Georgia. Which, for those who don't know, is the birth place of the Girl Scouts. So you see, I really have no choice but to eat as many as I can, as often as I can. It's the least I can do. It is my civic duty, I shall do it well, for the Scouts of course.

Old, Fat and Suspicious

An interesting conversation with the wife once again opened my eyes to a world I wasn't aware existed, at least not in my realm.

I am in the process of copying all my home movies to DVD for safe keeping. It's been a long boring process but the videos go back to 1986 and are starting to look bad. As I was copying one of the tapes the wife came into the room and we started commenting on how much certain people's appearance had changed in just 15 years.

As you may have guessed one of the people in the video is now fat. His wife has always been on the heavy side.

So the wife says " I bet she isn't upset that he's put on so much weight."

I was confused, "Why?"

Because he's big like her now.

So? Why wouldn't she want a fit husband?

Because then she would have to worry about her weight

Wouldn't that motivate her to do something about her weight?

You are so naïve! Most people don't like their partner to look a lot better than them.

Ok, I can see that...maybe, but instead of doing something about themselves they hope their partner falls out of shape?

Yes, there has been a lot of cases where a spouse has sabotaged a partner's diet to keep them fat.

And it's true! I asked around. Did anybody else know this was going on? Is this how you love someone? You wish they were fat because you're lazy. The whole thing sounds selfish to me. Thank God the wife has always supported me in my quest to stay in shape. Then again she does keep the fridge well stocked with my favorite ice cream. Curious.. and suspicious...

Pay To Eat Less?

I just saw an ad for Nutri System. Let me get this straight, you pay them to eat less food? I want to repeat this because this is insane. YOU PAY THEM TO EAT LESS FOOD. You pay more and get less. Why in the hell would it cost more to eat less? Couldn't you just let's say ah, eat less and don't pay them?

I want to lose weight.

Eat less, exercise more.

Oh I don't have time to exercise.

Well, you find time to eat three times a day so skip one meal and exercise.

That won't work

Try eating less food

I couldn't do that on my own, I wouldn't know how

What?

Is there someone I could pay to help me eat less

You're an idiot. No, you're a big fat idiot.