Hello?

I recently switched from my old trusted Black Berry to a Droid Global 2 cell phone. The phone is slick but a bit intimidating so I decided to start with something simple. Entering an email address is about as easy as it gets so I entered my Yahoo email account that happens to also be my Facebook email account. To my surprise the phone imported ALL of my Facebook contacts into my phone. WTF??? Most didn't have phone numbers but some did, like Daughter. Now understand, I play a few of the games on Facebook and I don't know all the people on my Facebook account.

Try as I might I could not remove the list from my contacts. They had become fused to my phone. I didn't realize how big a problem it would be until I tried to call The Wife on the way home from work. At a red light I pulled up the contact list and scrolled through it for her name. When the light turned green I looked up and started to go. When I felt safe, I looked back down at the phone. To my shock it had already called someone. I yelled, "FUCK!" Then I noticed the phone was still connected. I quickly hit the "End Call" button and a picture of a woman, a childhood friend, displayed on my screen. It said the call had lasted 30 seconds. Long enough for me to have reached a girl I haven't seen or talked to in 30 years and shout, "FUCK" into her voice mail, if it was on.

So if any of you get a strange call from me in the future you now know why. Fuck!

Worst good morning comment.. ever

First thing the wife said to me when she saw me this morning.

The Wife: What's wrong with your face?

Me: Nothing, why?

It doesn't look right?

Huh?

I mean it looks bad.

Um, I feel fine. Thanks.

Oh no, I, uh, didn't you get any sleep last night or...

Lets just stop there before you say something hurtful. (holy shit!)

That kinda set the tone for the whole damn day.

I'm sorry I might lose millions of dollars

WTF?

Why in the hell is Tiger Woods apologizing to us? Why would we even care?

I wonder how many people watching Tiger Woods today have ever watched him play golf or ever would? You know, golf, the game he is famous for. I doubt many. As far as I'm concerned if he can make his transgressions square with his wife and children then what I think shouldn't matter.

Oh wait... what about his public image, right? Yeah, about that, if you bought a car, shirt or anything other than a golf product because Tiger Woods endorsed it you're an idiot. Seriously, why would Tiger know anymore about a car, razor or credit card than you do?

For me, I would have had more respect for him (that would be starting from zero) had he held a press conference, not said a word, teed up a golf ball and knock the shit out of it. Then he could have turn to the cameras and said, "That's what I do. What now bitches?"

... but that's just me apparently.

Lowering The Bar... Again

When I heard that President Oboma had won the Nobel Peace Prize I literally laughed out loud. The wife, watching in the other room, asked if he had won because he was black. I assured her it had nothing to do with his color. She then asked, "why then?"

Good question, I thought. He has only been in office for ten months. His popularity in the US has dropped significantly since he took office. He has yet to accomplish anything of importance, at all. Most of his campaign promises are now being watered down because they are either not realistic or would be a disaster if he were allowed to carry them out.

Unlike President Carter, the worse American president to date, who received the Nobel Peace Prize for brokering peace between Israel and Egypt, Obama's biggest claim to fame is the beer summit he had at the white house to broker peace between a professor and a police officer.

So why did Obama get the award? Mostly because he's not President Bush. Also because he's a liberal. Now the Nobel Peace Prize falls into the same category as the Oscar, and the Emmy and a lot of other once honorable acknowledgments. Not given on merit but instead to those with the most liberal agenda. The award committee has done nothing but cheapen the prize for all those who have won it before and will receive it after. Worse they did it for political reasons. They used the award to send a message to former President Bush that they didn't like him and they wanted to embarrass him. Petty, as well as sad.

The first reactions I'm seeing from most Americans, Obama supporters and opponents, is disbelief. It left me wondering if the people of Pakistan feel they are getting peace as Obama authorizes bombs to be dropped on them? Or, if the people Afghanistan feel peace is on its way as Obama will neither commit to securing their country or pulling out of it? Does Israel seem to be embracing Obama's push for peace? Do the Palestinians? The North Koreans are rebuilding their nuclear facility as Iran admits it has more nuclear capacity than we thought. Where is this peace the The Nobel Peace committee speaks of?

Like our news media, the Nobel committee has taken something precious and made it into a joke, which is exactly why I was laughing when I heard about it.

Cheers

Recently a story lit up the news wires that not only caught my attention but the attention of President Obama as well. About a weeks ago the the Cambridge police received a call from a concerned neighbor that she might have witnessed a burglary in progress by two men. With this information officers were dispatched.

Upon entering the house the police discovered the man, who had been seen forcing the door open by the neighbor, was the resident of the house. The man, who was black, was asked to step outside. He was very irritated that the police had entered his house without authorization and refused to step outside claiming the officer, a white man, was a racist. After finally following the officer out of the house, the officer warned him twice to calm down. When Mr. Gates refused, he was handcuffed, arrested and taken to jail. The charges later dropped.

After hearing about the arrest President Obama, a friend of Mr. Gates, said in an interview that the police had acted "stupidly". He went on further to suggest that Mr. Gates was profiled because of his race. This was only hours after the arrest and before many facts were known about the case.

After the president realized he had said too much with too little information he called the officer involved in the arrest. The officer suggested the three of them have a beer and smooth things out. All accepted.

Now this beer event is being touted as a "Teaching Moment" to highlight the racial profiling of the professor, Mr Gates. WTF??!!!! SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME ON WHAT PLANET THIS MAN WAS ARRESTED BECAUSE OF HIS RACE??PLEASE... SOMEONE... ANYONE?

The definition of racial profiling according to the ACLU is as follows:

Racial Profiling:"Racial Profiling" refers to the discriminatory practice by law enforcement officials of targeting individuals for suspicion of crime based on the individual's race, ethnicity, religion or national origin.

The officer was dispatched to the scene, so no individual was targeted. The neighbor who made the call never mentioned the color of the people she saw. The officer had no idea what type of person he would find in the house, so no perceived notions. After arriving at the house the officer followed standard protocol. Other than Mr. Gates calling the officer a racist where was race a factor in the arrest?

So my only assumption here is that the lesson of this "Teaching Moment" is that EVERYONE can be guilty of racial profiling because that is exactly what Mr. Gates and the President did. THEY saw a white police officer, attached all the history and stereo types they've been taught and experiences and played the race card before they knew the facts. The very definition of "racial profiling" if you ask me. If that's the message that's going to be delivered after a few rounds of beer then I say, "cheers!"

But for some reason, I just don't see that in the cards.

Why even think?

Things in the news making me laugh these days.



The government shamed the auto industry executives into not using corporate jets. Then the president's plane is flown low over New York for a freaking photo opportunity. They wanted a picture of it over the Statue of Liberty. They could have accomplished the same objective with a home computer and photoshop and saved about half a million dollars. But then they wouldn't have been able to scare the crap out of the citizens of New York.

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/04/29/real-cost-flyover-just-air-force/

Once again the press is leading us by the nose and directing us how to think. The news media has gone wild about the outbreak of swine flu. Maybe it's going to live up to the hype, but right now it isn't at the level worth the attention being given to it. The regular old common flu kills about 35,000 people a year in the US alone. There have been about 400 cases of swine flu with less than two hundred deaths reported world wide. Why all the attention? Is the media creating the news instead of just reporting it?

And why hasn't the media mentioned the illegal immigrants? Certainly thousands of unchecked people coming across our boarders everyday from the very country the swine flu originated has to pose some sort of threat. They usually travel in groups, smuggled in small confined spaces. Yet the press has been very careful not to mention them and to point out that all the known cases have been transmitted by people traveling to Mexico and back. It honestly defies logic. It's almost like the press has a pro-illegal immigration agenda. But I know Even if they did they wouldn't let their bias compromise their reporting of the facts. I'm sure their standards are too high for that. Please.

What am I missing here?

Last week president Obama released the details of the CIA's terrorist interrogation methods. He condemned the use of "waterboarding" in particular. I have to wonder what limits on interigation the President would agree to if his daughters were kidnapped and a captured terrorist was suspected of knowing where they were being kept.

Since I can only guess at his mind-set in that situation lets look at some facts I don't have to guess at. The same waterboarding interrogation method that the president deems to harsh for terrorist is used on many American pilots as part of their training. Worse, the same president that deems waterboarding torture seems to have no problem ordering airstrikes to kill SUSPECTED terrorist living in Pakistan. Even though these strikes might kill innocent people, including women and children. But hey, at least we didn't have them waterboarded. W... T... F?!

Oh brother, Big Brother

What is our government thinking?

They don't like the bonuses that the executives at AIG received after the bailout money was given to the company so they are going to tax it back from them. Well guess what? I didn't like them getting it either but you can't just tax people out of money they earned in a legally binding contract. Well I guess you've proven you can but WOW! What a precedent you have set.

Talk about your Big Brother scenarios. I guess our government can TARGET law abiding individuals if they, the government, doesn't FEEL what they are doing is right. Isn't that what laws are for? This action being taken might make people feel better about socking it to the greedy rich but lets just hope our own actions don't attract the attention of our government and land us in their crosshairs.

I'm not just another petty Facebook picture

I was talking with my sister-in-law while we were all on vacation. She mentioned an old friend of mine that she use to live near when we were growing up. We lost contact when he moved away many years ago. When I mentioned I wouldn't mind seeing what he looked like she told me he was on Facebook.

I've known about Facebook for some time but knowing it is a social networking system, especially of all things past, is a bit of a turn off to me. That's just not how I roll, as they say. I recently set The Wife up with a page so she could join a group of people that enjoys a band she likes. That gave me a good idea of how Facebook works. After our vacation I talked to The Wife about setting up a Facebook page for the family. Only, you have to put one name in Facebook. Since I was the one who had the idea, was setting it up and wanted to check out my friend I used my name but I placed a picture of the whole family as the profile picture. Anyone from our past knows both of us. After realizing how many people I use to know was on Facebook I changed the name on the account to The Wife's name. Just not my cup of tea. We knew no matter whose name was on the account people would contact both of us. And they did.

My sister-in-law was our first friend. All fun and games until she wrote on her wall that her sister was pregnant and she was looking forward to "finally becoming an aunt." WTF? What are my kids and my sister's kids? It actually came as no surprise that she felt that way but to say it in a place she knew we would see it is more than a little rude and hurtful. I can see this type of stuff repeating itself over and over.

Last night the wife had me edit a picture of her for her fan Facebook page, I thought. Then she asked if it would be ok to take down the family picture on our page and put her picture up instead. I know it's petty, very petty, but it hit me wrong. When I asked why, she couldn't even be upfront about her reason. She said the picture of all of us, one she helped pick out, wasn't a good one. The thing is, I swear I don't care about Facebook. The whole concept of reaching out to people you let go out of your life with barely a thought makes me shiver. But alas, I guess some part of me does care. At least enough to get upset over our family picture being removed in favor of an individual one. Petty on my part but telling on The Wife's part I think, at least in my opinion it is.

WTF's in a name?

Sometimes you just have to wonder what the hell are people thinking. I just read a story about a couple who's child was denied a birthday cake, from a store, because the store refused to put his name on it. These people actually named their child Adolf Hitler.

Obviously these people are starved for attention but why would they do this to their child? Can you imagine when this kid is accused of punching a classmate in school? Of course little Adolf did it. Forget about a military career. What about when he fills out a job application? Would you hire a man named Adolf Hitler? "We really need to land that big bible printing job, send Adolf to close the deal." Right.

The reason the parents gave for giving their child this name? They knew no one else would have it. No shit, maybe there's a reason for that. Nobody has the name "My Parents R. Morons" either. Why didn't they just go with that? At least he'd have a better chance. Grrrrr!!!

When "Hey" really means "move the hell out of my way"

Listen up Mr. Man at the gym I don't know. I didn't get up at 6:00 AM on Saturday to chit chat with you. I'm sorry, really sorry, that the exercise I needed to do just happen to be next to you. You seem like a real nice guy but if you haven't noticed, this isn't a social club.

I don't care how much you use to weigh, how much you can lift, how many inches your legs are or how many pounds you lost. The name and cost of your supplements isn't good conversation either. Why are you pushing them so hard anyway? Are you a vitamin salesman or something? Well actually I know you're not because you told me about your job, your work schedule and your up coming business trip.

Again I'm sorry (for me) that my mp3 player hanging out of my ears didn't give you a clue. Or the fact that I kept trying to lift even though you kept right on talking. Even when I walked to the other side of the gym you just raised your voice so I could hear you, which by the way was worse than being next to you.

Here's a little tip. Sometimes when someone says "hey" to you it might not be because they are striking up a conversation but rather to get you to move from in front of the weights they need. Maybe if you talked less, that two hour workout you bragged about could be cut down, to say, a hour. You know, a hour, like the hour I WASTED this morning. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Why not just tell me I'm a jerk?

For the last two months The Wife has been unwell. I made her go to the doctor a month ago and told her to slow down many times after that. Not much I could do about her not listening to me. She was determined not to miss any festivals, fairs and Halloween events. Then, last Wednesday she woke me up and said she couldn't take the kids to school. I made her go to the doctor again and I took care of the kids. Two days later, after she spent two full days in bed, she was admitted into the hospital. She has pneumonia that is resistant to antibiotics.

As I was taking care of the kids, my sister called to offer support. She was a little upset that my parents, who live so close, weren't doing much to help me out. I agreed that it would be nice to get some help but taking care of my family was my responsibility and not theirs. I explained there was no need to be upset with my parents, I could handle it.

Later, as my parent were visiting The Wife in the hospital my dad mentioned that my sister was coming in town early for Thanksgiving to help her with the kids. My dad also mentioned, for reasons I can't even begin to understand, that my sister had asked him to have a talk with me. It seems my sister blames ME for The Wife being sick. She thinks I never give her a chance to get a break. That I keep her trapped at the house and don't do much to ease her burden.

Now, I know she doesn't know what happens at my house. She lives out of town and has no idea how our life is structured. It really doesn't bother me what she thinks I do or don't do for my family. I know the truth and so do they. It also doesn't bother me that she told my dad to talk to me about it. He knows what I do too.

It doesn't bother me that if my sister thought about what she did know she would see the truth. Like the week The Wife spent WITH MY SISTER in Mexico while I watched the kids just this year should have been a clue. Or the concert in Atlanta she attended with MY SISTER that she wanted to got to but wouldn't because she had already had me take off work too much this year and it was expensive but I talked her into going.

And it doesn't bother me that my sister mentioned to my dad that I get to do something for myself by going to the gym three nights a week for an hour and The Wife never gets her own time. Because I know all the kids are in school and The Wife has free time during the day and frequently meets her friends for lunch and stuff. She also doesn't know that I let The Wife sleep in on Sundays, my only day off, as I get up early to feed the kids, clean the house and do other things that need doing. Or that I ask The Wife almost every weekend if she wants me to watch the kids so she can go to town and do something she wants to do. See, I like being home with the kids.

None of that bothers me but what does bother me, what really chaps my ass is how my sister got the impression that I don't do all these things. She just didn't come up with this stuff out of thin air. It had to come from somewhere in some form or another. Even if she is just reading between the lines of what is being said, somebody has to be telling her something and it could only be The Wife, my mom or both. Neither of which has ever even suggested to me that I'm not being fair to my wife. In fact both, on many occasions, have told me that I need to get out more and do more things for myself. I'm a little confused by this situation. And bothered, as I said.

So, with all that leading the way, let the holiday season begin. Holy shit!

At 5:00 yesterday morning, I was sneaking out of the house for a business trip. Out of a dark hall I heard a voice ask "Daddy, what's going on?"

I saw my two sons heading towards me half asleep. I asked them why they were up and then in an eerie, monotone voice my oldest said, "when we see light, we go to it."

WTF does that mean?! Are they moths? Are they 'children of the corn' or 'Poltergeist kids'? It felt like a scene from The Shining... redrum, redrum...

Children creep me out sometimes.

Oh Dear

Ever since I was a child people have been claiming that Chinese restaurants are guilty of slipping us mystery meats such as monkey or dog. I have always laughed off such claims because for one, monkey would cost more than beef or chicken and two, no evidence has ever been produced to support such claims.

Until now...

"Here's something you don't hear every day. An employee at Nagano's admitted to bringing a dead deer that they found on the side of the road to work. Thanks to an anonymous caller who says they saw employees bring a garbage bag with a dead animal inside Pooler p-d were alerted.

Police responded and found this on the floor of the cooler laying right
underneath beef. The restaurant was immediately closed down and the Health Department was called in. The Health Department tells me Nagano's was closed for four hours while the restaurant was cleaned and sanitized.

Some food had to be thrown out because of possible contamination. The
restaurant was reopened and placed on warning. It is still unclear if the
restaurant was planning on serving the deer. We did stop by the restaurant to see if anyone was willing to explain why they had the roadkill but no one there was willing to talk . "

~ WSAV TV

YUCK!

Killer Agendas

On August 19, 1989, I was 21 years old. I remember vividly hearing about a police officer that had been shot execution style at the Grey Hound bus station in the town where I live. I can't say I noticed much in the news back then but for some reason this caught my attention. Maybe because I knew the area, it involved a police officer or the way the officer was executed. It scared me because I remember thinking, "if a police officer can be killed like that what can I do to protect myself?"

After fleeing a man turned himself in claiming to be innocent. Nine witnesses claimed they saw Troy Anthony Davis shoot 27 year-old officer Mark McPhail, husband and father, at close range in the head. Some witnesses claimed he was even smiling when he did it. Davis was convicted and given the death penalty.

19 years and many, many denied appeals later, Troy Davis is scheduled to be executed on October 27, 2008. Now I'm not here to argue whether the death penalty is moral or not. That's something people have to decide for themselves. In Georgia the death penalty is legal and used as a tool for justice. Justice the family of Mark McPhail has been denied to this point.

Unfortunately, the closer the execution date gets the more we have to hear about Troy Davis. His family, Amnesty International and even the Reverend Al Sharpeton have blown into town to declare his innocence. They are all claiming that new evidence requires the state to grant Davis a new trial. What's the new evidence? Seven of the original nine eyewitnesses have recanted their testimony. And, they claim no physical evidence was ever found to connect Davis to the scene, although Davis does admit to being there. Even if seven of nine witnesses recanted their testimony that would still leave two who saw Davis shoot Mark McPhail. How many do you need?

If Amnesty International wants to protest the death penalty I have no problem with that. But to hide their agenda by claiming guilty people are innocent is ridiculous. THEY WILL DO AND SAY ALMOST ANYTHING TO GET SOMEONE OFF OF DEATH ROW. That's their agenda. They make victims out of killers to further their ideology. Why can't they just be honest and say, "Yes, he's guilty but we're against killing him." At least then Mark McPhail's family won't have sit back and watch a murderer be turned into a celebrity.

Our local paper has jumped on board as well. They print anything Amnesty International says and have written many stories designed to gain sympathy for how hard Troy Davis's life has been. Very little has been written about the crime or the hardship the victim's family has faced. They also played down the strengths of the prosecutions case. They barely mentioned, if at all, that Davis had been on a shooting spree that very night. He had shot another man in the face hours before killing Mark McPhail. The shell casings matched at both scenes.

When you have to hide the truth to further your agenda, you're being dishonest to your cause. When you try to clear the name of a cold blooded cop killer to promote your agenda, you are just plain fucked up.

***** Update ******

Yesterday, the 11 circuit court granted a stay of execution for Troy Davis. This is his third stay. I thought after the supreme court reviewed the case that it was over. Not so. Another thing that makes me sick about this case, every time the paper prints a story about this murderer they post a picture of Davis and his victim next to each other. How sad for the McPhail family.

http://savannahnow.com/node/601947

Why even lock the doors?

When I read this I thought it was funny, in a sad kind of way. I'm not picking on the British. We see this type of thinking in the US as well. It always seems to amaze me that there are people who think like this. File it under "Seriously, WTF?!!

Gardener Ordered to Remove Barbed Wire Fence on
Grounds It Could 'Wound Thieves'

A British gardener’s local council has ordered him to remove a 3-foot
high barbed wire fence around his property in case thieves hurt themselves on it, the Daily Mail reported Thursday. Bill Malcolm, 61, installed the wire at his Worcester property after burglars robbed his tool shed and vegetable plots three times in four months, stealing more than $500 worth of hardware. But Malcolm’s local council told him the wire was a health and safety hazard and warned him they would remove it by force if he did not do it himself, the Mail reported.

“The council said they were unhappy about the precautions I had
made but my response was to tell them that only someone climbing over on to my allotment could possibly hurt themselves,” Malcolm told the Mail. “They shouldn't be trespassing in the first place but the council apologized and said they didn't want to be sued by a wounded thief.” The council said that a fence on the property must be a post or rail fence, not barbed wire.
“With regard to the barbed wire, when this is identified on site, we are obliged to request its removal or remove it on health and safety grounds to the general public as this is a liability issue,” a council spokeswoman told the Mail.

Snake Oil

Fools rush in

Where wise men never go

I've been watching the financial gears of this country grind to a halt and I can't help but laugh.

The Democrats, who have been screaming the President is an idiot for eight years, turned to him for guidance and direction to solve the financial crisis. Not only did they follow his lead, they lobbied for his plan to their party members who weren't buying it. If you call someone a fool and then follow their lead what does that make you?

The financial institutions, who are partly to blame, have their hand out for public money to help so they can survive. These are the same businesses that have been sticking it to us for years with ridiculous rates and fees. These same businesses, with their 'we're too big to care about an individual customer' attitude now wants mom and pop to care about them. I say put them on hold, make them do the finger digit dance as they listen to the awful music. Let them wonder for awhile if a real person is going to answer the phone and help. Press #1 if you are hearing me.

Wall Street, who has no morals or concerns about John Q Public, now screams that if we don't bail them out we are only hurting ourselves. I'm sorry but I won't be shedding any tears for these guys either. They are the masters of buying companies and selling off their assets to squeeze out every dime for profit, yet I haven't heard many of these companies selling off assets or divisions to raise capital. It's an all or nothing proposition they're trying to force. My children do the same thing, only they hold their breath hoping to get what they want. The only thing is, it doesn't work for the kids.

So here's the deal. We are going to give them around 800,000,000,000.00 dollars, eight hundred billion dollars, because they are slowly turning off the credit tap. Either we give them the money or they won't finance our houses, cars and stuff. It's blackmail plain and simple and we're going to do it. Shame on us.

Wouldn't it have made more sense to set up a fund of eight hundred billion that they could borrow from if they were desperate enough? If they volunteered to partake of this fund they would be subject to very strict government oversight (to the level of unbearable) until they paid back the money with interest. If they defaulted on the loan then assets would be seized and sold. The heavy regulation would have guaranteed only companies that needed help would have taken it and would have motivated them to pay back the money as fast as possible. It would also limit the role of government in the financial market. Of course nobody asked me so we're going to go with the 'blackmail 800,000,000,000.00 dollar thing' and hold our noses... and close our eyes.

Frozen

I almost never go to the doctor unless it's an emergency. When you go under stress conditions, like a mangled finger or a machete chop to the leg, you get a different experience than going in for a check up.

Last week I went to a dermatologist to get a spot, that had suddenly appeared on my chest, looked at. I hadn't given the spot much thought until I sat down in the doctor's office next to a poster. The poster described the cancer melanoma, complete with pictures. The pictures looked exactly like the spot on my chest. Great, now I was worried.

The doctor, who thought he was some sort of comedian, gave it a quick look. He also checked other areas that were suspicious. His attempt at humor put me at ease about it being a serious situation. Like I said, I'm usually at the doctor for emergencies so I'm not in the habit of questioning what the doctor is doing. I now realize that asking questions is what your suppose to do at a check up. Live and learn right?

Without much fan fare he told me the spot would come and go and he would just go ahead and take care of it now. He rolled himself out of the room on his stool and rolled himself back in with a super sized cotton swab and a metal jug trailing behind him also on wheels. The jug had smoke coming out the top. He never said what he was going to do but it was easy to figure out that he was going to freeze the spot. This is where I should have asked a few questions, I didn't.

He took the frozen cotton swab and placed it to my chest. I sat quietly as he ground it into my skin. I never moved or mentioned how much it felt like he was sticking a dagger into my chest. Then he asked me to turn my head and he touched the cotton swab to a place on my face. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!!" I thought to myself as I sat motionless. Then he touched another spot near my eye. When he was done he told me to use some antibacterial ointment and band-aids as necessary. "Why the hell would I need a band-aid?" I said, again to myself, as I followed the doctor to his office as instructed.

As he filled out his paper work he told me that people with my complexion don't need to be in the sun, at all. I thought how ridicules a statement that was as I nodded my head at him in agreement. He then gave me a catalogue full of clothes to wear during the summer months. These clothes cover every square inch of skin. I'll never, ever, buy or wear something like that, I thought, as I thanked him for the book and stuck it in my pocket.

Then he handed me the bill and said, "that's it" with a smile on his face. I shook his hand and started to leave when, seemingly off the cuff, he said, "You shouldn't have anything to worry about. I think we got it in time." My mind shifted gears and I was trying to figure out what he meant by that. Got what in time? Worry about what? Is there more I need to know here? These are all the questions I didn't ask as I just turned and headed to the cashier. I was now more concerned than before I saw him.

A day later two spots, the size of an Eggo waffle, (ok not that big but any mark on your face feels 10 times bigger than it is) formed on the side of my face where the doctor had worked. It oozed liquid and turned black. It was like a black hole that sucked peoples' vision so strong they were powerless to look away, even when I caught them staring. Thank the Lord I wasn't planning to do anything important like a modeling photo session... or something.

So now I'm waiting for half my face to peel off so people will stop looking at me like I have something on my face, which I do. I'm left wondering why the doctor didn't tell me the whys and the whats of what he was doing. Worse, I can't figure out why I went to a doctor for answers and allowed myself to leave with more questions than I came with. I guess it's one of those things you get better at with practice. So the next time I go I'm going to ask more questions and this time I might even say them out loud.

Dag gum it!

There has always been a gumball machine where I work. You know the one, glass globe, you put a quarter in the slot, turn the knob and a couple of gum balls come out. I'm not sure who owned the one that's been at our place for years. All I know was someone came, refilled it and took the money. That was until this year. This year no one came to refill the machine so eventually it ran out. It's not that I chew a lot of gum but it was a nice way to get a sugar fix a few times a week.

After several months of no gum, a brand new, shiny candy machine showed up. Full to the top too. Oh did I lose a few quarters that day. Oh happy days are here again. Then I inquired from where did this shiny new machine full of glorious sugar come from? Seems my brother bought it on eBay. Interesting.

The next day I had a hankering for a piece of gum, waltzed right up to the gumball machine... but then a funny thing happened. Just before I plucked my quarter in the slot I kinda resented that it was going to my brother. I quickly shrugged the feeling off. I mean I never cared when a stranger got my quarter. Besides now there was gum and if there isn't, I know who to see.

Still, every time since, when I go to place my quarter in the slot, I get that same damn feeling. I really don't know why either. I don't care if he gets the money. Hell, I'd give it to him if he wanted it. Is it because he thought of the idea and I didn't? Am I jealous? I don't think I am. Maybe it just upset me that he didn't include me in his little venture when we've been partners in everything else concerning business. But, seriously it's a gumball machine, not a business. I really don't know why I get this stupid feeling.

I do know I don't like the feeling but I can't shake it completely. Every time I go to get some gum I get it again and quite frankly it's ruining my whole gum chewing experience. WTF?!

Dancing With Angels?

We enrolled my three year old daughter Abby in her first dance class this week. I was really excited about it because of how much she dances around the house. She seems like she's going to be a natural at it.


Yesterday, The Wife dressed Abby up in her absolutely adorable ballet outfit and took her to class. Anxious to see how she did I called The Wife to check. Apparently there are no windows looking into the dance room and parents aren't allowed in. I can understand what they're getting at. The child will be less distracted without people moving around but the whole point of a three year old in a dance class is to see them dance. Now, all cute and clumsy.


That was a problem but not the real problem. After the first class The Wife was told that each class starts with a prayer and bible study. A copy of the bible study would be sent home each week. What the...? Now I have no problem with religion, bible study or prayer, I just didn't expect to be paying for bible study when I sent my child to DANCE CLASS. If I wanted to send my child to bible study I would send her to, hmmm, I don't know... church maybe?


Now I can't get the image of her dancing around a burning bush or toe tapping through the Last Supper. Why do these people torture me so? Why can't dance just be dance? Oh well, on a more positive note we're thinking about enrolling my middle son in swimming/baptism classes next summer.