Odd Man Out
I have the pleasure of lifting with two great guys three nights a week. Although I've been working out with these guys for years I hardly ever forget that they were partners long before they met me. One day they asked for some advice about working legs, I invited them to join me for a few sets and we've been lifting together ever since.
In the beginning they both just let me run the work-outs. I had more experience and seemed to be more motivated. This worked out well for awhile then I noticed one partner, P1, seemed to get irritated with me at times. Nothing harsh, just little comments to let me know he wasn't pleased we always did things my way. So I backed off to let them take charge, only to be confronted by my other partner, P2, about why we're doing odd or lame work-outs. You see, P1 doesn't really know what to do, he just wants to have input, where as P2 doesn't care who's in charge, he just wants the results.
So over the years I've worked hard to make sure P1 is included in decisions. Still, no matter how hard I try I can't get this issue behind us.
Example:
P2: Can we do extra legs tonight?
Me: Fine by me, what do you think P1?
P1: Huh, surprised you even asked. I was thinking of trying this new exercise?
P2: That's for your back. We're not doing back tonight.
Me: Let's try it tomorrow night.
P1: Whatever. (as he rolls his eyes)
Example two:
Me: Didn't you want to try a new exercise tonight P1?
P1: I'm surprised you even heard me. (sarcasm)
Me: Huh?
P2: I heard that exercise isn't any good.
Me: Lets give it a try and see.
P1: Gee, thanks for letting us. (dripping with sarcasm)
I still try, but for the most part I just wrote it off to the fact there are some people in this world you just irritate (some of us have a better knack for it than others) no matter how hard you try not to.
Then, I skipped the gym last Monday night. I sent both of them an email to let them know. When I arrived at the gym Tuesday P2 was a no show. P1 informed me that P2 had come early Monday and had almost finished his work-out before our scheduled time. Worse, he left P1 after only 10 minutes of working-out. When I wondered out loud why he would do this, P1 said, "Because, he knew you weren't going to be here."
Then it became crystal clear. P1 is irritated with me because P2 seems to be only interested in working out with me. P1 is feeling like the odd man out. It doesn't really solve anything but at least I know where it's coming from. And, on a selfish note, I'm happy it's not me this time.
6 comments:
Though there is absolutely no logical or logistical reason why it shouldn't, three just never seems to work out.
:-(
You're trying to apply logic to someone who doesn't have any. :)
It's P1's problem not yours.
I fear you're right Daughter.*nod*
I mean if The Three Stooges, Three's Company and The Three Little Pigs couldn't make it work I doubt I can. However, The Three Musketeers and Snap, Crackle, Pop seemed to make a nice go of it, so there is some hope. *sigh* lol
;)
TT: Yes, it's his problem and mine as long as I'm willing accept it. If he were an asshole in any other direction it would be easier.
I agree with you and Daughter, the world just isn't made for three partners.
Well, sometimes it is... *grin*
ANYWAYS.
If you dig working with P2, and not really with P1 cause he's a dick, why don't you just confine your workouts with P2? Eventually P1 will either get the point and shape up his attitude, or he'll work by himself.
That's the way real life works.
If your an asshole, people won't want to be around you...
I think the fact that the guys come to you for help and not the other way round, means that its not you thats at fault. You stick to your guns and you cant go wrong. If they dont want to train with you, they dont have to.
Jen, you do put images into my head :D
P1 is a great guy other than this one issue that flares up occasionally. He is also more reliable. He just needs to realize I can't control P2's actions towards me.
Darren: P2 has some goals he wants to achieve. He knows I can get him there. I think for P1 it's more social. Competing interest, with me in the middle. :(
I will stick to my guns though. You're right, it's the only way *nod*
Post a Comment