Just a whole bunch of funny

CHINESE FORTUNE COOKIES

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Virginity like bubble,
one prick, all gone.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who run in front of car
get tired.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who run behind car
get exhausted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man with hand in pocket
feel cocky all day.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Foolish man give wife grand piano,
wise man give wife upright organ.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who walk through
airport turnstile sideways
going to Bangkok

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who scratch ass
should not bite fingernails.

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*

Man who eat many prunes
get good run for money.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Baseball is wrong:
Man with four balls cannot walk.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Panties not best thing on earth!
But next to best thing on earth.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

War does not determine who is right,
war determine who is left.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Wife who put husband in doghouse
soon find him in cathouse.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fight with wife all day
get no piece at night.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It take many nails to build crib,
but one screw to fill it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who drive like hell,
bound to get there.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who stand on toilet
is high on pot.

*~*~*~* ~ *~*~* ~ *~*~*

Man who live in glass house should
change clothes in basement.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fish in other man's well,
often catch crabs.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fart in church
sit in own pew.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*