Confession # 12

More evidence that I'm getting old.

The Wife bought me some new.hip.button fly.jeans. I can't stand them. They feel like they are always sliding off my rear, which is damn near impossible. On top of spending all day pulling them up, the other day I fastened the buttons, on the retro button fly crotch, in a way that made it seem like I was happy to see everyone I met, if you know what I mean. Grrrr!

Now I find myself praying that spandex doesn't make a come back.

Rats!

If they gave a 'Soccer Mom - Mother of the Year' award, my wife would surely be in the running. Besides all the picking up and dropping off she does at school and various events, she also volunteers in the children's classrooms every week. A commendable thing to do but it can get a bit expensive. I have more than once voiced my opposition to the amount of goodies and decorations she provides as room mom. This is in addition to all the stuff the other moms donate. This week she was going over her list of upcoming events and mentioned Groundhog Day. Huh?

Yes, they are having a Groundhog Day party at school. Complete with Groundhog cake, juice, candy, decorations - the works. Not The Wife's idea but she is scrambling to "make it so" none the less. First of all, we hardly have a winter here. What we do have has a snowball's chance in hell of making it another six weeks. Second, we don't have ground hogs. If we did, I seriously doubt they could tell the weather. Hell, the weatherman can't get it right most of the time. Isn't it enough that we have an angel with a bow that shoots love quivers, a bunny that hides colored eggs with candy in them, a fairy that steals old teeth from under children's pillows, a night where I have to give out free candy or get a trick played on me and a jolly old fat man in a big fluffy red suit that brings presents, that I pay for by the way?

Now we need to celebrate some damn rodent with a cake? That's right, a groundhog is like a big rat that lives in a dirt hole in the ground. The fact that he may or may not be scared of his own shadow makes me question his qualifications as a serious role model in the first place. That is, if you can get by the rat thing. And, what about his predictions? Are they even scientifically proven to be accurate??? How do we know the little bastard is scared of anything or maybe he's scared of everything. I think Groundhog Day is a ploy invented by the evil oil companies to sell more heating oil or sun tan oil. Whichever one they have a surplus of at the time.

A cake on Groundhog Day, holy Shit! It is certainly NOT a cake holiday. Where and when do we draw the line? I can tell you one thing, don't expect presents from me on Arbor Day.

Very Funny?

Funny thing about your own sense of humor... you don't have to understand to enjoy it.

Why does this make me laugh so much? Who cares? It just does.

Confession # 11

Awhile back I was conversing with my friend from Australia. During our conversation she mentioned something that changed the way I think about their whole Continent.

It seems that kangaroos are NOT to be found everywhere you go. Yep, believe it or not, according to her, kangaroos aren't just hanging out at the mall , on every street corner or in people's backyards. Okay, I didn't think they were at the mall but I did think they are like the deer we have here. Every once in awhile you see a few grazing on the side of the road or eating the shrubs in your yard. It's nice to see them but no big deal. Apparently in Australia kangaroos are only found in the bush and at the zoo. I guess it's like the way you can only find jackalopes in the mid-west here.

Boy do I feel gullible for jumping to conclusions sometimes.

I'm not just another petty Facebook picture

I was talking with my sister-in-law while we were all on vacation. She mentioned an old friend of mine that she use to live near when we were growing up. We lost contact when he moved away many years ago. When I mentioned I wouldn't mind seeing what he looked like she told me he was on Facebook.

I've known about Facebook for some time but knowing it is a social networking system, especially of all things past, is a bit of a turn off to me. That's just not how I roll, as they say. I recently set The Wife up with a page so she could join a group of people that enjoys a band she likes. That gave me a good idea of how Facebook works. After our vacation I talked to The Wife about setting up a Facebook page for the family. Only, you have to put one name in Facebook. Since I was the one who had the idea, was setting it up and wanted to check out my friend I used my name but I placed a picture of the whole family as the profile picture. Anyone from our past knows both of us. After realizing how many people I use to know was on Facebook I changed the name on the account to The Wife's name. Just not my cup of tea. We knew no matter whose name was on the account people would contact both of us. And they did.

My sister-in-law was our first friend. All fun and games until she wrote on her wall that her sister was pregnant and she was looking forward to "finally becoming an aunt." WTF? What are my kids and my sister's kids? It actually came as no surprise that she felt that way but to say it in a place she knew we would see it is more than a little rude and hurtful. I can see this type of stuff repeating itself over and over.

Last night the wife had me edit a picture of her for her fan Facebook page, I thought. Then she asked if it would be ok to take down the family picture on our page and put her picture up instead. I know it's petty, very petty, but it hit me wrong. When I asked why, she couldn't even be upfront about her reason. She said the picture of all of us, one she helped pick out, wasn't a good one. The thing is, I swear I don't care about Facebook. The whole concept of reaching out to people you let go out of your life with barely a thought makes me shiver. But alas, I guess some part of me does care. At least enough to get upset over our family picture being removed in favor of an individual one. Petty on my part but telling on The Wife's part I think, at least in my opinion it is.

Happy Birthday Abby!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABBY!!!

My Songs #7

Billy The Kid - Billy Dean

Strapped on my holster low across my hips
Two Colt .45's with white plastic grips
And I'd head west through our neighborhood
And they'd say 'Here comes young Billy
And he's up to no good'... yeah

I rode a trail through the neighbor's back yard
Shooting the bad guys through my handlebars
Known for my bravery both far and near
Being late for supper was my only fear

I miss Billy the kid
The times that he had
The life that he lived
I guess he must've got caught
His innocence lost
I wonder where he is
I miss Billy the kid

These days I don't know whose side to be on
There's such a thin line between right and wrong
I live and learn, do the best I can
There's only so much you can do as a man

I miss Billy the kid
The times that he had
The life that he lived
I guess he must've got caught
His innocence lost
Lord, I wonder where he is
I miss Billy the kid
I miss Billy the kid

The times that he had
The life that he lived
I guess he must've got caught
His innocence lost
Lord, I wonder where he is

I miss Billy the kid

Alone, Wet and Happy

The first thought that came to mind when I learned about our past cruise was scuba diving. Not only had I not been diving in a long time, Belize is a great place to dive. That's what I had heard anyway. Since The Wife isn't big on diving and someone had to watch the children she let me go as my Christmas gift. Sweet gal that one.

When the time came I was excited but I found myself in unfamiliar territory. I rarely do anything by myself. I had signed up to go with a group of people who were just learning to dive because it had been awhile since I had been. Safety first on with the things that can kill you I say.

Being by myself and already trained to dive I was allowed to sit back and observe all the different people negotiate their fears of something new. I watched as insecure people poured as much negativity onto the situation as they could to justify their poor performance, ruining the experience for themselves as well as the people with them. I saw macho men get humbled by fear. I saw people hand over their lives, literally, to strangers and trusted them completely. People are an odd bunch under stress.

I also found it amusing that when the 15 beginners found out that I, a total stranger, was a certified diver they took comfort in it. Despite the fact that five well qualified instructors, all dive masters, were telling them what to do, they would come to me for assurance that the information being given was the truth. In the end, three of the people in the class chose not to dive, though they were all capable.

After I descended into the ocean I watched as my class mates struggled to grasp the concept of neutral buoyancy. A task they mastered in a much shorter time than I initially did when I was learning. I watched the dive masters fuss over them for awhile then I turned over to enjoy the spectacular reef below me. The visibility was about a 100 feet, the colors and the fish were spectacular.

When I returned to the boat I watched and listened as my fellow divers couldn't contain the experience they had just witnessed. They all went on and on about what they had just seen and done. Divers high I call it. It was obvious the three that stayed on the boat regretted it deeply. All vowed to give it another shot the next chance they got.

Being there alone I was able to take in everything around me without any distractions. Belize is a unusual but fantastic memory I'll cherish for a long time. Oh, and the diving was awesome too.

Me, The Crew and Natalya Too

Being the people watcher I am, the cruise was an excellent place to observe all types of people interacting with each other in unusual and sometimes unfamiliar settings. Most was what you would expect, people having fun, drinking, partying and trying to live the high life. One thing I couldn't get past, that most of my fellow passengers didn't seem to notice was the crew. The ship we were on had crew members from over 60 different countries. These are hard working people who are committed to their job. Rarely, do you not get more than you expect and most of the time with a big smile.

Each crew member had a name tag that stated their name, their job title and the country they were from. It didn't take long for me to get into the habit of looking at their tag. Our head waiter, Natalya, one of the a few female head waiters on the ship, was from Ukraine. She was fantastic at her job. She seemed to enjoy waiting on us and took an immediate liking to my children. Still, there seemed to be a sadness in her eyes, even when her face was covered by her smile.

For some reason I spent a lot of time on the cruise thinking, and yes worrying about the crew, including Natalya. They made such an effort to make us feel like we were the first people that ever went on a cruise, instead of just another group they had to serve this particular week. As I paid more attention, when the crew thought they were out of sight, I noticed their faces relaxed and it was obvious these were not the eternally happy people they wanted to project. How could they be really? Spending months away from home and family, serving people who only cared where and when they would get their next meal or drink or something. What a life. Of course working the ship had to be a better opportunity than the place they had left which made me appreciate their situation that much more.

The more I thought about them and watched them the more I wanted to talk to them. When I was able to, I made a point to talk them about them, their situation and their lives. Amazingly the fake smiles faded away and real people emerged, with real smiles. Simple five minute conversations about them changed the way they treated us. Yes, they were being paid to look after us but they were people too and they had value beyond bringing me my things and make my life cushy.

On the second night at sea all the servers had to dance around the tables they waited on. It was scripted but cute. Natalya asked my five year old to join her. Amazingly he did and he was captivated by her for the rest of the cruise. She seemed to enjoy his affection too but I had to wonder, was it an act? Either way she had made my little boy happy so I was grateful but I was left wondering. When I got the chance I talked to her. She had spent the last 10 years of her life working on cruise ships. Seven or eight month stretches with only four or five weeks at home. She also told me the next week was her last. She was ready to go home for good.

The next morning, much to my surprise I saw Natalya in the lower dinning room busing tables. It shocked me because I assumed that a head waiter would be above "that kind of work". Seeing her at work that early also made me wonder just how many hours she was putting in each day. A few minutes later she showed up at my table with my son in tow. Seems he had seen her and wondered off to talk to her. We were all laughing and talking then she looked down at my empty plates and reached to get them. Stupidly I told her, "you don't have to do that." She gave me an odd look. I was embarrassed because I realized she did have to do it, it was her job.

On the last stop of the cruise, Nassau, as we passed through customs going into the country, we heard a person yelling out my sons name. She was making a lot of effort to catch up with us through a crowd of people. It was Natalya. She looked different with her hair down wearing her blue jeans. Maybe I read too much into the gesture but this was a sign I was looking for. She didn't have to chase us down. We never saw her, nor would we have. She must have wanted to speak to us. She leaned down and talked to the kids, then asked us our plans. She gave us some advise on where to go and what we should do. I let her know I was happy to see her finally not working. I thought about asking her to join us for lunch but I didn't want her to feel she had to spend her time off with her customers. Though a small part of me still wishes I had asked.

After our last dinner I thanked Natalya for her service with the customary tip. I also gave her some pictures I had printed of her dancing with my son. Not because I thought she wanted a memory of my son but because I wanted her to see what we saw. We saw her as a person. A person that brought joy to the people she encountered, as did most of the crew. She added value to people's lives beyond the service she was paid to do. Maybe she knew this already. Maybe she didn't care. She might of even gone back to her cabin and thrown the pictures in the trash but for some reason I don't think she did. It really doesn't matter. What matters is she knows that we know and that knowledge is hers to do with as she pleases. But I do hope it pleases her as much as it did my son... and me.

Back to Blogging

For Christmas this year, just like last year, the family took a cruise. If you've never been I highly recommend it. It was tough last year with young children but we were on the Disney ship, so everything was geared for them. This year we took a 7 day cruise on the Carnival ship Glory. It was a little more challenging with kids, especially with Abby's broken arm, but we had a very good time.

There were three highlights from the cruise that stuck out for me. Obviously, being able to spend that kind of time with my family was awesome. We shared some experiences that will last us all a lifetime. I also had the chance to go scuba diving in Belize. I haven't dove in awhile. And, there is almost no better place on earth to get wet than Belize. They have a incredible reef there that is full of aquatic life. Lastly, we had two full days at sea. I can't remember when I've had two full days where I couldn't do anything but relax, even if I didn't wanted to.

Here are a few pictures

Some more thoughts later

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2009