Get Well Soon!!!

Daughter is having some surgery today. I'm hoping it will alleviate some serious health issues she's been dealing with these past few months. I'm praying that it all goes well and that her recovery is quick, painless and relaxing.

Everybody keep your fingers crossed, please.

{{{{{Daughter}}}}}

Busy, Busy, Blah

About twice a year I feel like I'm running a marathon. I get extremely busy at work, all the kids get sick and our social calender is filled with endless obligations. This is about the time I decide to take on some project that is way too big for my britches.

It's nothing worse than anybody else is going through but I've noticed an odd pattern towards the end of these events. At first I seem to thrive on the challenge and the excitement that a change in pace brings about. I get a sense that I'm running a head of the pack. Keep up if you can but please, don't slow me down.

You want to buy a truck? Great! You want to buy two? Even better. You want to buy ten that I don't even own and not sure they even exist in the specifications you need? Give me a minute and I'll have them ready for you.

One of the kids are sick? Let him sleep next to me so if he throws up again I can help him to the bathroom. Oh, another one just puked in their bed? The hall? The stairs? Poor guys, give me a second and I'll get it cleaned up.

"Honey you don't look to good either. I think you have a fever. You better lay down too."

"I know I have the 'Daddy and Me Desert' with Abby tomorrow. Don't worry we'll make it."

"Yes, and both birthday parties this weekend"

"No, I'll just get up early and paint it tomorrow"

During the blitz I seem to function well but as soon as I can see the finish line something odd happens. My brain kicks into overdrive about the "whats" and "whys" of it all. I start to examine my place, my direction and question my importance. Not long after apathy starts to overtake me. Going from accomplishing more than I thought I was capable of to not caring if I accomplish another damn thing is rather depressing.

I have written at least ten post for my blog recently I've never published. In some cases I only needed a sentence or two in order to complete them but I just couldn't bring myself to click the 'Publish Post' button. Feeling they were too insignificant, obvious or meaningless. Whatever emotion sparked me to start them had retreated by the time I neared their end.

I've always tried to write my blog for me. If it made me think, laugh, cry or stirred some other emotion I wanted to remember it. If others got it, great but if they didn't, well, that's fine too. It's one of the few things I do for me, by me and is all about me. So why post just to post? I shouldn't, I won't, I can't. So apathy holds me back.

It's the same with other aspects of my life, I just don't have the luxury of choosing to sit them out. I know that moving forward is the only way to leave this apathy in my dust and based on past experience I know I will but for now apathy's pace is equal to mine and I can't find the burst I need to break it's draft.

Even as I write this I wonder if I'll even publish it or leave it to wither and die with all the other unpublished post in my blog draft grave yard.


Blah

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.

- Iris Murdoch

Funny?

I saw this the other day and thought it was hilarious. I'm not sure why I thought it was so funny other than the fact that I thought the recipe was so simple I considered trying it. Then I read the bottom of the picture.



Funny? I thought so but I am a little weird.

Star Struck

I'm a guy of routines. I try not to get stuck in them but if given the choice, well, I choose to follow them. One of my routines is to feed our animals when I get home at night. No big deal. As I pass through the garage I feed the two dogs, then into the kitchen to feed the cats and lastly out the back door, onto the deck to feed the stray cat that we look out for.

About a year ago my then two year old little girl followed me to the back door one night. As I was coming back from feeding the cat she stretched her arms out for me to pick her up. The moon was shining bright so I picked her up and brought her outside in my arms.

I pointed up and said, "moon". She did her best to repeat after me with something that sounded like moo. I then pointed to the stars and whispered "stars." She said it back. I gave her a little kiss on the cheek, a big hug and took her back inside.

After that, every time she heard me go out to feed the cat she would meet me at the back door with her outstretched arms. Eventually she learned to say moon and she always whispered, "stars" as she pointed and giggled. The event took no more than a minute but sometimes it was the best minute of my day.

Then, after almost a year, I'm not sure when or why but she stopped. Maybe I had something important to do and fed the cat before she could get to the door or maybe she was busy doing something she liked. I didn't really notice until last night. Because last night as I was returning to the door there she was waiting on me. It hadn't even occurred to me until that moment that we had stopped our routine.

This time she didn't have her arms out. I reached down to scoop her up and she shook her head and said "uh ah." I stepped back and she walked out onto the deck on her own. She pointed at the sky and whispered, "stars". I knelt down beside her and whispered it back. She giggled. Then she ran back into the house.

It was all I could do to not to shed a tear. Silly I know, because it's a natural part of life but the writing was on the wall. She's growing up. Hell they're all growing up and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Not that I want to. Still, it got me thinking about the other moments that had passed me by and all the future ones that will pass so quickly. Nothing last forever and that realization slapped me in the face hard that very moment.

I rubbed my eyes a little, looked up at the stars and walked back into the house. As I walked into the kitchen my little girl grabbed me by the hand and said, "dance, daddy, dance." I did. We both giggled and laughed as I spun and twirled her around the room until something caught her eye and off she went. I rubbed my eyes again and thanked my lucky stars for all the best minutes of my day still to come.

I try to stay away from the political stuff on this blog. I mean really, can't we all just get along? I saw this video clip on another blog and thought it was funny. So I did what I do when someone has a better idea than me, I stole it. I'm just kidding, I only borrowed it. *wink*

I can't give the blogger I borrowed it from credit for finding it because I don't think anyone would understand why I read that particular blog but I'm sure they won't mind me using it.

The comments and views expressed in this video are not mine nor do I endorse any candidates represented in it. The likenesses aren't even close to the real people so it shouldn't be necessary to have a disclaimer but I still added this one. It was meant as a joke so please take it that way. If you can't take it as a joke you are probably putting to much confidence that any candidates will make a huge difference. They won't, trust me.

A Gift

Whenever someone gives me a gift I always think, why this particular gift. No, I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth, I just like to understand the motivation behind it. In most cases it obvious. The gift is something that the giver knows you like. Sometimes the gift is something the giver likes and wants to share with you. Other times it's practical, silly or the giver is just plain lazy or doesn't know you and the gift makes no sense.

My sister gave me a book for Christmas. Not a bad book, I enjoyed reading it but I am left scratching my head as to why she gave me this particular book. It is a motivational book of sorts but what the author is advocating I already try to practice. My sister knows this too.

The book "Chasing Daylight - How my forth coming death transformed my life" by Eugene O'Kelly is about a CEO of huge company that is given 3 months to live at the age of 53. He discovers that family and relationships are more important than the work he had dedicated his life to perfecting.

I know it wasn't a re-gift nor was it just a random purchase. She made a point to tell me she really wanted me to have it when I opened it. I guess I could just ask her but I don't want to sound unappreciative. I certainly don't want to get into a big discussion with her about work versus family, been there done that. It wasn't pretty conversation. So I guess I'll have to find some clever way to work into a conversation one day. Until then I'll just be wondering why. *sigh*

How About That!!!

Oh Yeah!

New England Loses the Super Bowl

I love it :)

Of the Week

Just some random thoughts and such that I think of or stumble upon every week.


Word of the week

Rational -

1. agreeable to reason; reasonable; sensible: a rational plan for economic development.
2. having or exercising reason, sound judgment, or good sense: a calm and rational negotiator.
3. being in or characterized by full possession of one's reason; sane; lucid


Inspirational quote of the week

If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up some place else.
-Yogi Berra


Gripe of the week

Oblivious People


Song Lyric of the week

so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out
What's in my head

And I am feeling a little peculiar

- What's Up - 4 Non Blondes


Optional blog title of the week

Write on


Artist of the week

Claude Monet



Picture of the week

Happy Groundhogs Day Everybody!!!

Looks like six more weeks of winter

Dang!