Star Struck

I'm a guy of routines. I try not to get stuck in them but if given the choice, well, I choose to follow them. One of my routines is to feed our animals when I get home at night. No big deal. As I pass through the garage I feed the two dogs, then into the kitchen to feed the cats and lastly out the back door, onto the deck to feed the stray cat that we look out for.

About a year ago my then two year old little girl followed me to the back door one night. As I was coming back from feeding the cat she stretched her arms out for me to pick her up. The moon was shining bright so I picked her up and brought her outside in my arms.

I pointed up and said, "moon". She did her best to repeat after me with something that sounded like moo. I then pointed to the stars and whispered "stars." She said it back. I gave her a little kiss on the cheek, a big hug and took her back inside.

After that, every time she heard me go out to feed the cat she would meet me at the back door with her outstretched arms. Eventually she learned to say moon and she always whispered, "stars" as she pointed and giggled. The event took no more than a minute but sometimes it was the best minute of my day.

Then, after almost a year, I'm not sure when or why but she stopped. Maybe I had something important to do and fed the cat before she could get to the door or maybe she was busy doing something she liked. I didn't really notice until last night. Because last night as I was returning to the door there she was waiting on me. It hadn't even occurred to me until that moment that we had stopped our routine.

This time she didn't have her arms out. I reached down to scoop her up and she shook her head and said "uh ah." I stepped back and she walked out onto the deck on her own. She pointed at the sky and whispered, "stars". I knelt down beside her and whispered it back. She giggled. Then she ran back into the house.

It was all I could do to not to shed a tear. Silly I know, because it's a natural part of life but the writing was on the wall. She's growing up. Hell they're all growing up and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Not that I want to. Still, it got me thinking about the other moments that had passed me by and all the future ones that will pass so quickly. Nothing last forever and that realization slapped me in the face hard that very moment.

I rubbed my eyes a little, looked up at the stars and walked back into the house. As I walked into the kitchen my little girl grabbed me by the hand and said, "dance, daddy, dance." I did. We both giggled and laughed as I spun and twirled her around the room until something caught her eye and off she went. I rubbed my eyes again and thanked my lucky stars for all the best minutes of my day still to come.