Me, The Crew and Natalya Too

Being the people watcher I am, the cruise was an excellent place to observe all types of people interacting with each other in unusual and sometimes unfamiliar settings. Most was what you would expect, people having fun, drinking, partying and trying to live the high life. One thing I couldn't get past, that most of my fellow passengers didn't seem to notice was the crew. The ship we were on had crew members from over 60 different countries. These are hard working people who are committed to their job. Rarely, do you not get more than you expect and most of the time with a big smile.

Each crew member had a name tag that stated their name, their job title and the country they were from. It didn't take long for me to get into the habit of looking at their tag. Our head waiter, Natalya, one of the a few female head waiters on the ship, was from Ukraine. She was fantastic at her job. She seemed to enjoy waiting on us and took an immediate liking to my children. Still, there seemed to be a sadness in her eyes, even when her face was covered by her smile.

For some reason I spent a lot of time on the cruise thinking, and yes worrying about the crew, including Natalya. They made such an effort to make us feel like we were the first people that ever went on a cruise, instead of just another group they had to serve this particular week. As I paid more attention, when the crew thought they were out of sight, I noticed their faces relaxed and it was obvious these were not the eternally happy people they wanted to project. How could they be really? Spending months away from home and family, serving people who only cared where and when they would get their next meal or drink or something. What a life. Of course working the ship had to be a better opportunity than the place they had left which made me appreciate their situation that much more.

The more I thought about them and watched them the more I wanted to talk to them. When I was able to, I made a point to talk them about them, their situation and their lives. Amazingly the fake smiles faded away and real people emerged, with real smiles. Simple five minute conversations about them changed the way they treated us. Yes, they were being paid to look after us but they were people too and they had value beyond bringing me my things and make my life cushy.

On the second night at sea all the servers had to dance around the tables they waited on. It was scripted but cute. Natalya asked my five year old to join her. Amazingly he did and he was captivated by her for the rest of the cruise. She seemed to enjoy his affection too but I had to wonder, was it an act? Either way she had made my little boy happy so I was grateful but I was left wondering. When I got the chance I talked to her. She had spent the last 10 years of her life working on cruise ships. Seven or eight month stretches with only four or five weeks at home. She also told me the next week was her last. She was ready to go home for good.

The next morning, much to my surprise I saw Natalya in the lower dinning room busing tables. It shocked me because I assumed that a head waiter would be above "that kind of work". Seeing her at work that early also made me wonder just how many hours she was putting in each day. A few minutes later she showed up at my table with my son in tow. Seems he had seen her and wondered off to talk to her. We were all laughing and talking then she looked down at my empty plates and reached to get them. Stupidly I told her, "you don't have to do that." She gave me an odd look. I was embarrassed because I realized she did have to do it, it was her job.

On the last stop of the cruise, Nassau, as we passed through customs going into the country, we heard a person yelling out my sons name. She was making a lot of effort to catch up with us through a crowd of people. It was Natalya. She looked different with her hair down wearing her blue jeans. Maybe I read too much into the gesture but this was a sign I was looking for. She didn't have to chase us down. We never saw her, nor would we have. She must have wanted to speak to us. She leaned down and talked to the kids, then asked us our plans. She gave us some advise on where to go and what we should do. I let her know I was happy to see her finally not working. I thought about asking her to join us for lunch but I didn't want her to feel she had to spend her time off with her customers. Though a small part of me still wishes I had asked.

After our last dinner I thanked Natalya for her service with the customary tip. I also gave her some pictures I had printed of her dancing with my son. Not because I thought she wanted a memory of my son but because I wanted her to see what we saw. We saw her as a person. A person that brought joy to the people she encountered, as did most of the crew. She added value to people's lives beyond the service she was paid to do. Maybe she knew this already. Maybe she didn't care. She might of even gone back to her cabin and thrown the pictures in the trash but for some reason I don't think she did. It really doesn't matter. What matters is she knows that we know and that knowledge is hers to do with as she pleases. But I do hope it pleases her as much as it did my son... and me.