Worst good morning comment.. ever

First thing the wife said to me when she saw me this morning.

The Wife: What's wrong with your face?

Me: Nothing, why?

It doesn't look right?

Huh?

I mean it looks bad.

Um, I feel fine. Thanks.

Oh no, I, uh, didn't you get any sleep last night or...

Lets just stop there before you say something hurtful. (holy shit!)

That kinda set the tone for the whole damn day.

ASIMO. The future is now?

I've been following Honda's robot ASIMO since it was first introduced. Although it is an amazing feat of engineering, I can't help but wonder if I'm missing something. Didn't these people see Terminator, The Matrix, iRobot? The list of movies made to warn us that one day computers, and by extension robots, will one day rule our world is extensive.

When ASIMO first came out I thought it was cute. Now it's starting to creep me out... really creep me out.

Oh Dear

Ever since I was a child people have been claiming that Chinese restaurants are guilty of slipping us mystery meats such as monkey or dog. I have always laughed off such claims because for one, monkey would cost more than beef or chicken and two, no evidence has ever been produced to support such claims.

Until now...

"Here's something you don't hear every day. An employee at Nagano's admitted to bringing a dead deer that they found on the side of the road to work. Thanks to an anonymous caller who says they saw employees bring a garbage bag with a dead animal inside Pooler p-d were alerted.

Police responded and found this on the floor of the cooler laying right
underneath beef. The restaurant was immediately closed down and the Health Department was called in. The Health Department tells me Nagano's was closed for four hours while the restaurant was cleaned and sanitized.

Some food had to be thrown out because of possible contamination. The
restaurant was reopened and placed on warning. It is still unclear if the
restaurant was planning on serving the deer. We did stop by the restaurant to see if anyone was willing to explain why they had the roadkill but no one there was willing to talk . "

~ WSAV TV

YUCK!

Freedom from the press?

I guess Joe the Plumber asked the wrong person the wrong question.

Joe Wurzelbacher just asked Obama a simple question about taxes at a campaign rally. Obama answered him honestly and Joe was respectful. I have no problem with the encounter. I wish we could have seen more encounters like it. I learned something watching it.

Then, during the presidential debate, John McCain used Joe the Plumber as an example to highlight the difference between his tax plan and Obama's. Joe the Plumber wasn't all that important, his situation was.

Unbelievably, (not really) the press and media went after Joe the Plumber like he was a threat to national security. Just like they did with Sarah Palin. It's sad that I've learned more in three days about Joe the Plumber than I've learned in 20 months about Barack Obama.

This situation should scare people. Why did the press rush to dig up every bit of dirt they could on this guy and drag his name through the mud? Why did the press feel it was their job to tear down and expose this citizen, to protect Obama, simply for asking a question? Is that where we're headed? Making people scared to ask a question of a candidate out of fear that they will be publicly humiliated. It sounds like something you would expect to hear from a place like North Korea or Iran, not America.

I've been blathering for some time about how dishonest the press has been during this election. I'm irritated because I don't think the press and the media should decide who we elect, still don't, but this truly scares me. I mean if a hard working plumber like Joe can cause such a harsh and angry reaction from the press, by asking simple questions, what would happen if say... they found out about my blog?

Shhhhhh... I'll be quiet before they hear me.

Living Dangerously

I decided to get a bowl of ice cream the other night. I asked The Wife if she wanted some. She informed me there was no ice cream to be had. So much to her surprise, I pulled out a gallon from the back of the freezer.

The Wife: Oh, that is very, very old. You can't eat that. It will make you sick.

Me: How old?

The Wife: Old enough. I can't remember the last time I bought ice cream.

I really really wanted some Ice cream. WHAT TO DO????

I ate it of course. I was just careful to scoop it from the middle (I have no idea why I thought that would make any difference). Then I spent all night wondering about every little rumble in my stomach.

Yep, I'm a crazy wild man. I live right on the edge.

What Will Happen?

The dreaded "W" word came up the other day. I've never been afraid of it but for some reason I just can't get off my ass and wrestle with it.

My insurance agent (same age as me and looks twice as old, sCA-ry) strongly suggested that I make out a will. Yikes and, well, yikes!!! His suggestion was delivered with one of those half cocked eyebrow things that seem to say, "Hey, what are you stupid or something?" His look was so convincing that I'm actually considering doing it.

So I need a list (always start with a list)

1. I need to make a list of all my possessions (easy enough)




2. I need to make a list of who I'm leaving them to. (again... easy)




3. I need to figure out who would take care of my children if something should happen to The wife and I...
   

Bam! I just remembered why I've never made out a will. I have nobody in my life I trust to raise my children. So stop cocking that eye at me Mr. Insurance agent man, I'm working on it.

Gah!

Damn

There goes my 'Father of the Year' award.

Tonight I happen to catch my oldest son with his finger up his nose. Now I know this is common behavior for a seven year old but as the parent I felt the need to say something. Mainly because I don't want to see it. So I reached over and pushed his hand away from his face.

Well my son thought this was funny and placed his finger right back in his nose. So again I reached over and pushed it away. He looked at me and proceeded to place it back in his nose as he howled with laughter. I was laughing too at this point. Once again I reached over to push his hand away but he was ready for me. Before I could get to his hand he jerked his head away from me with his finger still in his nose. All this wouldn't have been a problem except we were riding in our Mule, doing no less than 15 mph, on an asphalt road.

So as my son jerked his head he slipped off the seat. It took a moment to realize what had happened and by the time I did he was out of my reach. All I saw was him fall into a superman position as he flew off of the mule. To my horror the left side of his upper body landed on the floor board of the mule then he fell to the asphalt road. This was actually a blessing in disguise as it broke his fall and bounced him away from the mule, keeping it from running him over.

When I stopped the Mule and looked back he was up and walking to me. He was crying and asking me what to do? He was also asking why I pushed him? I DID NOT PUSH HIM. He was surprisingly calm on the way back to our house considering the amount of blood that started showing up. That lasted right up until we got back to the house and he caught sight of the wife. Then the tears ran like rain.

The damage? A skinned knee, lip, nose, chin, elbow, hand, finger, toe and a chipped front tooth and a broken daddy's heart. Forecast until the scabs heal? Frosty :(

Nightmares Can Come True

We all have nightmares. Things we fear for good reasons and things we fear for no rational reasons at all. well one of my biggest nightmares came true the other day.

No, bagheaded people didn't invade my home and I didn't wake up with a teletubby next to my bed (I really would die you know) but this was almost as bad.

I had a phone call at work. The lady on the phone explained that she worked for the local ABC News channel. My first thought was that I was about to get pitched an advertising package. By the end of the call I was wishing I had been. Instead, she was a reporter. She called to talk about the truckers shut down.

The truckers in our area parked their trucks last week to protest the cost of fuel and for not being compensated with a rate hike. Many have and are going out of business. The port in our city is the fourth largest in the US, so when freight doesn't move people get nervous.

Back to my nightmare. After talking with her about the shut down for five minutes, she asked if she could come interview me in person. I agreed. And that's when it turned into one of my one of my worst fears.

You understand it will be on camera?

*pause* Um... no I didn't. I don't think I'd be too good at that.

Sure you will. I'll edit out the bad parts.

*pause* No thank you, I think I'd rather pass.

Oh, you'll be fine. I'll take care of everything. Can I come at 1:00?

*pause* *pause* Sure... why not. *sigh*

Then I hung up the phone and went about worrying for the next three hours. It didn't help that the office staff know how much I hate the spotlight and took full advantage of the situation.

At 1:00 she showed up. We went outside were her cameraman was setting up. I was as nervous as tick but not too nervous to notice a second cameraman and another reporter to my right, FILMING already. The reporter that called me noticed me looking at them. (As if there was a chance I wouldn't see them?) She explained they were a film crew from TV GUIDE , filming a documentary on how the news was put together. WTF?! I didn't want to be on one camera now there's two?!

The interview went as I expected. I felt like a goober. Especially at the end when she asked if I had anything to add? I said no. Then there was a loooooooong uncomfortable pause. I've seen this many times on TV and the person being interviewed feels compelled to start speaking. This is where they usually say something stupid. I have always vowed never to speak if I was ever in the same situation... So I rambled on for a few minutes before realized how stupid I was sounding. I hated every minute of it and was relieved when it ended. I didn't even ask when it would be on TV. Though the reporter assured me it would be edited down to just a few seconds of air time. That's a few seconds more than I wanted. I still don't know why they picked me or how they found me.

After it aired (on two channels) my brother said I didn't look and sound like as much of a hick as another guy they interviewed. Umm, Thanks... I think.