A Holiday Wish

In honor of the holiday season, I wanted to share a Christmas wish with you. I don't think I could express it any better than the brilliant Steve Martin did in the following clip.

Because after all, it is about the children.

Anybody else have a holiday wish?


'A Holiday Wish', by Steve Martin

Another "Living with a stranger moment"

I'm soaking in the tub and the wife walks in. Apparently there is some new show on TV called "Clash of the Choirs". I shit you not! Anyway, she walks in and starts telling me about who's on the show. She tells me this with enthusiasm. Blah, blah , blah is all I heard because, one I couldn't give shit and two I didn't know one person she mentioned except Patti LaBelle.

So she went on and on as I just looked at her wondering "who the hell is this person in front of me talking about choir music?" Never once in all these years has the word "choir music" come out of her mouth, as far as I know. But, never the less, it was her saying it. At least it looked and sounded like her.

After a few minutes, "blah, blah, who do you think will win?" I honestly didn't listen to a word she said because I was still WWTF (wondering where the fuck) this was coming from? So I just said, "Patti LaBelle?" To which she said " Duh!" smiled and with that she spun around and left the room. Assuming it was her in the first place.

Clash of the Choirs? Really????????

Who are these people we live with?

To Tell The Truth

I had lunch with my best friend Tuesday. As I have mentioned I'm struggling with the person who has emerged after announcing he is gay.

He showed up to my office for lunch, late. I immediately could tell he was as high on something. More than likely some prescription medication, not prescribed to him. So it didn't start off well. I was irritated and in hindsight should have bailed on lunch then and there. I didn't because I knew he needed to talk to someone about his boyfriend situation.

His boyfriend, who is about twenty one, over twenty years younger than my friend, moved with his family about two thousand miles away. They broke up when he moved. For the last few months my friend has threatened to date other men but has yet to do so. As we entered the restaurant he told me he loved his boyfriend and wanted to fly out to see him to work something out.

He kept comparing his relationship to mine. That got old fast for many reasons. By the time we sat down to eat I decided to lay it all on the table. I asked if he wanted the truth? He said of course. I started by telling him that he had some serious questions to answer BEFORE running off to meet this guy.

Like why did his boyfriend go in the first place? He's an adult he could have stayed if he wanted too.

Why did he wait until the week before he left to tell you? Doesn't that say something?

What do you plan to accomplish by flying out there? Just seeing him won't fix anything.

Are you willing to support him? How?

Do you have the same goals in life as him? What are they?

If you move up there and he hasn't come out to his parents how will that work? Will it work?

Is his 21 year old boyfriend ready for a long term adult relationship?

His only answer to all these questions was that he loves him. To which I told him that in a long term relationship love is not enough.

Then he cried. Yes, tears rolling down the face, sobbing, the whole works. I felt bad for him but not because of the situation. To be honest I was more mad than anything. Here I sat across from my best friend, who had a privileged upbringing, is intelligent, has many high level skills, a great family and many friends and all I could think about was the mess he had made of his life. He lives with his parents, has no job and is high as a kite, crying in a public restaurant about a guy he can't have, all at the age of 45.

Maybe I'm a cold hearted person but DAMN! Help yourself before you go dragging someone down with you. First, get off the Fn' drugs. Second, get a job and support yourself. Then date someone that can handle the type relationship you want. That's probably not with a twenty one year old guy who just graduated college and hasn't come out to his family that he's gay.

I was embarrassed, upset and pissed. I didn't care that people where staring at us. He was out of control. I was mad that I hadn't been a good enough friend and let things get this far without saying anything. As high as he was at the time I didn't see the point of talking to him then but I'm thinking of writing him a letter telling him what I think. I'm not sure.

I am sure it was absolutely one of the wost lunches I have ever had.

Santa meets the kids

Below are pictures I found of my son and his best friend when they were five. My son is the one on the left. These pictures were taken about a month before the cancer was discovered the first time. At the time of these pictures the cancer was already wrapped around two of his friend's organs and nobody knew it. Scary isn't it?

Say a prayer if you have a moment.

My son's best friend had cancer two years ago.

He was only five years old at the time and went through hell to have it eradicated from his tiny little body. It's been a year since he stopped taking chemo and life has been good. His family and him moved away a few months ago to Florida, his hair has grown back and he has started attending school with the rest of the children his age.

Well we learned this week his cancer is back. He only had a 50% survival rate after he was pronounce clean. I don't know what his chances are after a recurrence. To say I'm upset is an understatement but I'm pissed as well. How much does one little boy have to endure? Why?Why? Why?

The parents of his best friend have requested our son be allowed to spend as much time as possible with their son. There seems to be a bond between them, and frankly his whole family I can't quite understand. The whole seven member family seems to be captivated with my son. With a lot of guilt I must admit I am hesitant about this. Of course I'll let him do whatever will help their son but I have to worry how it will affect mine.

Is seven years old to soon to deal with death? Will it change him? Can he handle it? I don't know but what choice do we have? No matter what my questions are they are no match for the problems this family is going through. So graciously I will let them have my son as much as needed because selfishly I'm relieved it's not him.

I'm not playing around

With Christmas Quickly approaching one of my biggest gripes and irritations will once again be brought front and center. It's not the thought of putting on a few holiday pounds or not having that perfect gift for someone but the thought of more toys.

Yes, I said toys. Our dirty little secret is out. Santa, please forgive me but we have too many damn toys at our house. THEY say the first step in solving a problem is admitting you have one in the first place. Well we have a whopper of a toy problem. Only I should Mctoy problem because even the little happy meal toys are piling up. Gah!

I admit the wife and I started the problem. When we had our first we went overboard with stuff. At age Seven our son is just now old enough to play with things we bought him when he was three. Rookie mistake on our part but in our defense we were rookies at the time.

I honestly thought it would even out. Our second was a boy, so all the toys would still work for him. Good plan, bad execution. Even though he had PLENTY of toys to play with the urge to buy more, so he could have something to open on his birthday and Christmas, got the best of us. Arggg!

Then my little girl was born. So that means all new girl toys. We just ignore the fact that she plays with the cars, tanks and toy guns and buy her dolls, tea sets and anything pink. Bah!

Over the years we have tried to cut back and we have... to a degree. But, there are still grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends that contribute. We tell them to buy clothes for the kids but just like us they go for the big exciting make them love you gifts (TOYS) not the more practical, useful, and in the end much more used clothing gifts (BORING).

So now with Christmas at the gate I looked in their play room only to see mountains of old toys everywhere. Many a weekends I have made the resolve to go in there and throw out the broken, old, unused toys, only to find one of them playing with the dump truck missing two wheels and a door. How sweet is that? Grrrr! So I never throw any out because I can make a case for all the toys to stay. Plus I always remember the Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer movie and the land of misfit toys. How pathetic am I?

But no more! Before the happy, red suited, fat man comes down our chimney I plan to resolve this situation. There's a new sheriff in town (ok, it's still just me) and he hates old, worn out, unused toys. He plans on getting tough and taking action. So watch out toys, you're going down this time and believe me... I'm not playing.

Yesterday

I saw you yesterday...

I was walking to my car and I spotted you out of the corner of my eye. At least it's the you I imagine now... You were crossing the street with some sort of purpose. You seemed like you were walking in slow motion and yet you were gone in the blink of an eye.

Of course it wasn't you... how could it be?

Because...

Had it been you... all my troubles would have vanished in an instant.

Had it been you... I would still be living in my rosy world with all the truths neatly tucked into dark corners.

Had it been you... guilt and regret would still be words I only thought I understood

Had it been you... the shadow that covers my soul would have lifted and the light would have flooded in.

No, it wasn't you but what if it had been? What if...

He ain't heavy - he's my brother

In the past I've blogged about my younger sister. She is outgoing, ambitious and career driven. My older brother on the other hand is exactly, 100% the opposite. Yes, it made for some very interesting times growing up.

My brother is a very misunderstood person. The best way to describe him is as introverted, only he's not. Most people think he's shy but he's not that either. A lot of people that meet him thinks he's rude because he doesn't speak to them much if at all. In fact he can down right ignore someone standing in front of him talking to him. Others that meet him want try to force him to interact with them. They turn on the charm to "bring him out". That doesn't work with him, as they soon find out.

I've been telling people, including my parents, for years that they have him all wrong. I honestly think he has a phobia of people. It's not that he doesn't like people or want to interact with them but the act of actually doing it scares him, in much the same way someone scared of heights would react to a high ledge. It's very painful for him and out of his control. Nobody seems to get this.

He's a smart guy with a high IQ and a photographic memory but has been unable capitalize on his intelligence because of his lack of people skills. Sadly, because of all this, I have moved past him on our company ladder for the simple fact of my people skills or his lack there of. Amazingly, we get along well. He understands why I have the position I do and while it may make him wish he could conquer his phobia he doesn't blame me. I have no desire to flaunt or use my position to harm, damage or embarrassed him in anyway. I see him as an equal that just happens to have a different job than myself.

I am constantly bombarded with complaints by the people who have to deal with him. I've long since stopped trying to explain him. People want to take things personal and they will no matter what you say. I think they would be surprised to hear that my brother and me talk all the time. When we do he hardly shuts up.

The wife is under the impression that he's lazy and lets me do too much of the work. That he's selfish and doesn't do enough with our family and our kids, his niece and nephews. This is a view shared by the rest of my family and friends as well. I've tried to tell the wife she has him all wrong but like the rest, she won't listen.

Well the wife has been trying to find the boys a Wii for a Christmas gift. They are always sold out and they say it won't be easy to find them through the holidays. We have spent a lot of frustrating weekends looking for one. Then Saturday my brother called me and said he found one. Not only did he locate it but went ahead and purchased it just to make sure we would get it. The wife and my parents were blown away by his gesture. They couldn't believe he even knew we wanted one and that he had been looking for one for us without telling anyone. I, on the other hand, wasn't surprised at all because I know that is the type person he is. I also wasn't surprised that he didn't want a big deal made of his gesture.

If people would stop judging him for failing to act the way they deem is correct and accept him for who he is, they will start to see a man who's action speak far louder than his words. They would see a man who is in pain because he doesn't know how to fit in. They would see a good husband. They would see a good father. If they look hard enough they would see what I've always seen, they would see my brother.

Now for something serious... just joking

As many people may know, I'm from the state of Georgia. It's not a law here but it's an unwritten rule that you have to pull for the Georgia Bulldog college football team. So I do and they do us proud more times than not.

This year they are doing fantastic. Ranked number 4 in the nation going into this past weekend. With this being the last week of regular season football all it would have taken was for the top two teams to lose. Impossible, I was told. I agreed too... then it happened.

Shock would not begin to discribe my feelings, as well as the rest of football loving fans all over the country. So natuarly one would assume that with number 1 and number 2 teams losing, the number 3 and number 4 (Georgia, yeah) teams would move to the top spots and play for the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP. I shit you not, Georgia was right there.

But fate is a cruel ass BITCH! Not only did Georgia not move to the number 2 spot they moved DOWN to the number 5 spot. I could go into all the reasons this is wrong, and it is wrong but I won't. Lets just say the people who rank these teams are a bunch of &%$#*&@ asses (insert any and every insult you can hurl here).

Needless to say I'm mad >:(

Someone stop me!

I'm only doing it because you keep asking me :)